Besties

-Part 19-

Self harm⚠️

Good morning good morning you continue scrolling until he taps you can we talk yea go ahead listen, we were recording on my bed and she pulled me on top of her, the room off my robe and clothes and things led to another and well I'm sorry you first could have stopped it and second that is in the past so I'm gonna go and order some food because I got hungry over night you walk to the living room and sit down and order (idk order something) once your done you see duke comes out fully dressed want something no I'm fine the food comes and you sit down to eat hey umm wanna do a duke moose live I guess ok we look at these jump scares (you can find them on accs similar to the name of netwonk on TikTok) are you sure yes totally ok.... you finish eating and throw away your stuff ok I'm done you go back to your room and just scroll on TikTok and watch tv hey hi can I come in yea you always can why no reason he sits down and lays next to you, you set and alarm for 2 hours to sleep and try to fix your sleep schedule. You lay down to his level and just stare at each other I'm gonna go to sleep for like 2 hours ok? I'm actually gonna sleep too....wanna cuddle? I-I guess ? He pulls you into his chest and kisses your head, you fall asleep quickly and wake up up to your alarm and see dukes awake you look sleepy go back to bed no I have to get u- he kisses you and runs his finger through your hair if your worried you won't be able to sleep we can stay up together but I know you stayed up all night it's fine that was my fault I can go to 3 days and then I'll sleep 3 days !? No cmon I know you want to fine I guess you try to fall back asleep but after ten minutes you feel a tear on your cheek, it wasn't yours so you were confused until you heard duke cry a little. I miss you so much y/n you move a little and hug him back and cuddle with him I love you y/n you don't respond to make it seem like your asleep so after 20 minutes you get up where are you going bathroom you don't actually use it you just sit there thinking, you go out and check your phone it's almost 5 didn't you say you would do a live well I'd rather stay here but what about them I think it's best if we don't go live rn actually, maybe in like a week so that I don't get hate for what I did a tear falls done his cheek so you go over and sit on his lap it's ok you wipe his cheek with your thumb and hug him, you feel him breath heavier and realize your chest is on his face so you sit down next to him trying to not make it awkward, you sit on your phone for a while until you turn on the tv maybe you should go live maybe just do it I will he goes and sets up his phone and comes back  after a few minutes will you be in it idk please I guess you both sit down as he presses "go live" shortly after hundreds of people are on, he plays music to avoid talking but the song ends hi everyone you pinch your skin on your arm and give yourself a hickey (it's a TikTok trend) ow what's wrong nothing did you just- yeah it kinda hurst tho try it on your neck you pinch in your neck to make a red mark wait lemme try it hurts actually after a few minutes of going live he ended it, it was a short live since some people brought up what happened I feel really bad it's fine after all you two always seemed really close you leave him sitting down to give him some time alone to himself. You sit down on your bed and stare down. You fall asleep thinking of duke, you wake up before duke so you go to the bathroom and make a small cut on your wrist, it bleeds a lot more this time so you quickly cover it. You go back to bed and fall asleep, days go by and you make one cut everyday and cover it with you watch, one day duke comes to your room and sits down with you we're going to Utah tmr oh ok you start packing while dukes eating, after an hour your done and tired hey- aww your tired yea you lay down and feel duke lay next to you, you fall asleep quickly and wake up with a headache duke my head hurts aww I'll be back he comes back with water and 2 pills here you drink them and lay down again wait for like 10 minutes ok he pulls you into his lap and rocks you like a baby I'm not a baby yet you'll still fall asleep this way you lay down normal and he spoons you. After a few hours you wake up feeling a little better any better? Kinda you get to the airport and get seated. Once you arrive at Utah you get to dukes mum house
His mum: hi guys how was the flight
Duke: it was ok
You: yeah
Kaestle: are you ok you look sick
You: my head just hurts
Duke: try and get some rest
You go to his room and fall asleep there, you wake up at around dinner time so you go down and sit down with them "any better" dukes mum says not really I feel really hot lemme see he puts his hand on your forehead and takes it off you have a fever do you want to eat? (Kaestle) no thx you didn't eat yesterday and you haven't ate today you have to eat no I'm fine here he puts his fork with pasta on it in front of your mouth no just try it you bite it and eat it it's good but I feel like I'm full I'm just not hungry aww

That's all I HATE this chapter :/ so I'm adding another one