a renegade; W2S

1

*HÉLILLE's POV*

"I can't do this anymore Jack," I say, wiping the streaming tears from my face. He's done it again and I was so stupid to stay after the first time.

"It's not what it looked like, she forced herself onto me," Jack replies, his eyes are searching into mine, but I bet mine have no warmth in them and I hope to god they don't reflect that motherfucker's face.

"I should never have forgiven you," I scream at Jack, his eyes widening. He knows now how seriously he must have fucked up; I never scream. I'm usually the pacifier, but when your heart's been ripped in two, shouting is your least worry. "I'm leaving."

Is that remorse I see in his ocean eyes? The slightest glimmer of recognition? But it fades and washes away behind his steel glare. I can't even look at him anymore, can't even believe I used to want to swim in those orbs of ocean.

Maybe I needed this, my last tether to snap. A pretty, chestnut tether that loved me enough to cheat twice. He was the last thing keeping me in Australia when my soul desperately needed to travel elsewhere.

As I see him shake his head, his eyes red and murky as tears form in the corner, I see how pitiful he really is. I wasted three years of my life on this.

I start to smile slightly, a strange but visceral flood of joy overcoming me. It doesn't feel sociopathic, but I hope it sure looks it to Jack. He wasn't all bad, sure there was those nights we danced around in the refrigerator light and the mornings when his smile was brighter than the rising sun. But it all seemed like the past, none of that could or would happen again. It's not even like I want it to.

Whatever happiness there was here in this shabby 2 bed, it had left as soon as I saw him open the door earlier, when he walked in with the guts to lie to my face about where he was. And now here he is, a mess in front of me. I can't push away the slight ache I feel in my heart seeing him like this, but my mind guides me to see his lips pressed against hers and it gets weaker.

I clench my jaw and wipe my tears one more time. I wonder if he knows that'll be the last time he'll see me cry, the last chance he'll ever get to touch me. I walk into the kitchen, close my eyes for a second and take in the last breath this place can afford me.

Jack walks in behind me, slowly and crying so quietly but it's so loud in my ears.

"Goodbye Jack."

I say as I walk past him. He grabs me, trying to pull me close to him, maybe thinking his embrace would convince me to stay here. I don't think he'd ever get it if I told him the truth that it isn't even really him that is making me leave, it is me. Thinking about it, I probably would leave even if he hadn't cheated again.

I am so tired of this purgatory he had trapped me in where we were teetering between passionate sex and month-long arguments. And as I step outside the door, I feel as though I can finally breathe again. His shouts for me, his cries into the night are drained out by my swimming mind. I am not scared. I am so excited I can almost feel it clawing at my skin.

And it starts to rain, it starts to pour like it's never rained before. Each drop tastes like freedom. This is my life. I'm never going back.

I walk the street for a while, taking in what seemed so normal before. The way the trees sway slightly in the breeze, the way the rain patters on the pavement and the way my feet dance along it. I'm heading to the centre of the city, where the skyscrapers are.

I love skyscrapers. I love how we build them so high to compete against each other. I love how they contain so many stories and so many lives I'll never know.

I call for a cab, and one stops right beside me. I lift my suitcase in and push the wet strands of my hair back behind my ears. I clamber into the seat, smiling so happily at the driver.

"Where you going to, young lady?" He asks me. And I have no idea, where am I going? All I know is it's not Australia.

"The airport," I say to him and he nods before setting off. The city lights flash past me in a blue of blue, red and white as the tears fall from my smiling cheeks. I feel so infinite in this moment.

A/N : thank u for reading!!!!! No Harry yet but incoming.