Potter's Girl / Butterfly Effect.

61. Love, Revisted

CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE;

LOVE, REVISITED

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Ron's good mood over his victory ended up being short-lived; O.W.L preparation began the next day and forced the fifth year students into isolation to focus all of their attention into their studies. It was dubious work. Cassie, having missed out on two entire years of school, was undoubtedly the furthest behind. She spent nearly all her time in the library or holed up in her bed, a different textbook under her nose every time somebody came across her. She couldn't recall a single time she had ever studied so hard – yet, on the other hand, these were the exams to determine her future in the Wizarding world. If she flunked any of them.... bye-bye, Head of Magical Law Enforcement.

   Only once a day did her peers catch a glimpse of her; it was when she came down for food. Not an entire meal – who had time for those nowadays? – but a small snack that fulfilled her appetite and replenished her hunger just enough so she could return to the task at hand. She had practically shut out all social life; she hadn't replied to a single letter from Remus, picked up her mirror once, spoken a single word to her friends, or even responded to Hermione's worried words of wisdom.

Only once did she break her focus from her studying.

It was when a certain feeling of guilt settled in her gut. It told her that not only was she worthless when it came to passing her O.W.Ls, but also: She was pathetic at magic, that she couldn't do anything to save her friend from death by Voldemort's hand, that she was easily the most disposable and expendable of her group. And, to add insult to injury, a small voice in the back of her mind told her that it was correct.

The night before O.W.L examinations was very uncomfortable for everyone involved; all of the fifth and seventh years in Gryffindor Tower were attempting to cram in some last-minute studying and all others years had cleared out rather quickly in fear of Hermione snapping at them for giggling too loud (it had happened too many times to count). Cassie actually descended the staircase into the common room for once, and she felt as the entirety of its inhabitants inhaled and held their breath.

   As she stood at the bottom of the staircase clutching four books to her chest with everyone's eyes on her, she felt quite foolish. Instead of turning around and rushing back upstairs, she drew in a sharp breath, looked around, and said, "Don't you lot have studying to do?"

   Instantly, the hushed whispers began again and the students returned to their revisions. Cassie exhaled wearily and approached her friends, who had claimed their own little corner of Gryffindor Tower with heaps of parchment and books.

   "You look miserable," said Ron helpfully.

   "Gee, thanks, Weasley," said Cassie, biting back a yawn and dropping down to a seat next to Harry's legs. She faced the fire and watched it crackle for a moment, wishing desperately that Remus or her father or her mother would show their faces in the flames, before Harry's voice brought her back to reality.

   "This is the first time we've seen you in a while," he noted awkwardly, shifting subtly so his leg made contact with her shoulder. She felt the touch but made no move to scoot away. "Been revising?"

   "Yes," she said dully.

   "That's it?" said Hermione slowly, glancing to Harry and Ron before leaning in. "Nothing else's bothering you?"

   "What else should be bothering me?" snapped Cassie in a harsher voice than she'd meant. She softened and rubbed her forehead. "Sorry. It's just.. What if I don't get enough O.W.L.s to go into Law Enforcement? What if I fail all of the O.W.L.s and my entire future is toast? What if something goes wrong during the exams and Voldemort does something bad–and somebody.." Her face darkened, and her grey eyes turned to the color of a storm cloud. Harry, Ron, and Hermione looked to each other in alarm and Hermione snapped in front of Cassie's face, but the Black was completely unresponsive.