[NSFW WARNING]
Vinyl: *fake enthusiasm* Sooooo, what can I do you for this time?
Shadow!Lander: There’s a political candidate causing trouble up on earth for a few of my associates. He’s trying to convince people global warming exists!
Vinyl: Doesn’t it?
Shadow!Lander: Well, yes, but more people die if nothing is done about it. And it gets lonely here.
Vinyl: Okay, well, yeah, that makes sense.
Shadow!Lander: You know what happens when I’m lonely, sweetheart?~
Vinyl: *pulls his phone away* Oh, God fucking damnit.
Shadow!Lander: When I’m lonely, I become hungry...and when I become hungry, I want to choke on that angelic [redacted] of yours! [redacted] your [redacted] and lick all of your [redacted] before taking out your [redacted] and [redacted] with more teeth until you're screaming [redacted] like a fucking baby!
Vinyl, visibly disturbed: *hangs up, breaks his cellphone in half, smashes it with his desk phone, pulls out a blender, puts the pieces in it, blends them, turns and hands the blender to Merupo*
Vinyl: Eat this!
*Merupo drinks the blended cellphone mixture*
Vinyl: And then you know that bridge over the freeway?
Merupo: Yeah?
Vinyl: Shit off it!
YOU ARE READING
gacha world headcannons and shit
De Todopls dont read the earlier chapters they're shit
