Reason to be - Harry Styles ✓

37. Dusty thoughts

April’s POV

I froze; I knew I wasn’t supposed to let it win, and yet my breath suddenly shortened. My heart started racing furiously and my mind went wild. My eyes rolled frantically, but there was nothing to see.

The claustrophobia… The fear of the dark…

“Harry.” I whispered, tears starting to form in my eyes.

I let out a shaky breath and felt my legs collapsing. I let myself lean on the cold wall of the small metal box we were lying in, slowly sliding down until I stood on the floor.

“Harry?”

My arms started to blindly move around, and I sighed in relief when I touched something; but it wasn’t him, it was the bag with my clothes.

“Please, please, say something.” I murmured, letting warm tears roll on my cheeks.

My mind just couldn’t process the situation I was in at that moment, the big problem I found myself into. My heart was racing and my chest rising up and down with a dazzling speed. And yet, I felt like my lungs weren't receiving air at all.

I was alone.

Suddenly, something touched me and my hands went wild in front of me. I cried loudly, screaming unintelligible things while struggling with all my power to set myself free. It’s the darkness, I screamed in my mind.

"No, please! Let me go!" I shouted, trying to push whatever was holding me in place, and panicked even more when I realised that I couldn't.

"A-April." a weak voice rang in my ears, and I had to fight the panic taking control over me to respond.

“Oh God, are you okay?” I cried, trying to find Harry in the cruel darkness. “Harry?”

“Ouch” he suddenly murmured. I felt him shifting in the small place, probably trying to get up. A sudden thump came soon after that, but it wasn’t like the previous ones.

“What happened?” Harry’s dazzled voice questioned, slightly hitting the metal doors.

“I-I-I…We’re st-, t-the…” I struggled to articulate more than two sounds, but I couldn’t. Sobs were shaking my whole body and shivers moving up and down my spine made me feel cold.    

I continued to cry when I heard Harry’s fists in the door again, and again, but soon they stopped; instead, something was embracing my body tightly. I tried to defend myself, but I couldn’t explain why I suddenly felt so tired. My struggles stopped, but my chest continued to desperately catch as much air as it could. The strong pair of arms that was holding me enveloped my body as carefully as they could, and gently pushed my head to support on something that I supposed it was his shoulder. My body was shaking violently, but he wouldn't let go.

We stood like it until my breath finally stabilised, and I didn't realise that warm tears were rolling down my face until I noticed that the shirt he got from the hotel drawer was uncomfortably wet. I pushed myself away.

"Sorry." I whispered, shakily.

"It's alright." he murmured back, and I felt a warm hand patting my knee.

I smiled slightly, although I knew that if I couldn't even say if my eyes were open or closed, he definitely couldn't see it. I let my head lean on the cold wall and supposed that I closed my eyes. Slowly, I started counting inside my head; grandma always said that if I ever found myself scared or in a panic attack this would always help. I stood in silence for at least five minutes. I was almost completely calm again, when I remembered what had just happened; my eyes went wide open and I jumped on my feet, as my heart started pounding again.