Reason to be - Harry Styles ✓

52. Stay the night

One. Two. Three. Four. Breathe. 

Alone. That's how I felt, watching the sky through the cold winter air as I counted the beats of my heart. I wasn't even sure for how long I would be able to do that, all I knew was that I was there, breathing and counting, trying to figure out how I ended up like that.

An unamused laugh escaped my lips. Of course. Of course I was sick, I wasn't that dumb, I had been suspecting that since a really young age, but I never had the courage to dig into it. I had been alive for eighteen years now, although I can't say that I did actually live for that long. My life was dull, eventless, usually struck by the numerous fits when I got sick, feeling like it was the end of the world. It never was, yet it weakened me, bit by bit. And here I was, contemplating on the life that was slipping between by fingers, in my once secret spot on the hill of the park.

As stupid as that sounded, my disease wasn't the only thing on my mind. Harry was also there.

He kept coming back, again and again, not only in my head but in my life as well. I would have been fine without him coming back, I was happy with Harry-- wait, no, I meant Daniel. I was happy with Daniel. I didn't need Da-- Harry in my life. 

I let out an annoyed breath, rolling on the side in the warm snow and covering my head. 

"April?"

I froze in my spot, trying not to start whining out loud. Could my life get any more cliche that this?

"What are you doing here?" I asked, fixing him with a stare, as I didn't hurry to stand up. His eyes watched me closely - as if I needed that now.

"I don't know, I thought I just wanted to go for a walk. But now that I've ended up here and found you, I realised it's you I was looking for." Harry said apparently with nonchalance, looking down then glancing shortly at me. 

I was taken aback by his words, but I wouldn't let them shake me.

"Congratulations, you found me." I said sarcastically, then walked past him. "Too bad I don't have time for small talk, I have a party to get ready for."

I was heading back to the main entrance of the park and of course he was right beside me. So close, that when I slipped and almost fell on ice, he grabbed my arm and helped me stand. I looked into his eyes for a second, but soon shook his hand off me and continued walking, muttering a "thanks".

When I eventually got back home, Harry and I exchanged looks for a few seconds, then he said that we would meet at the party tonight and left. I didn't look as he drifted into the distance because I knew he expected me to, so I was pleased enough to simply walk in the house. The warmth wrapped me immediately, giving me a nice feeling, for once in a long time. 

As I bent down to take off my boots, I froze in the middle of the action, as my face paled. I looked on the floor. Nothing. Patted my clothes, looked at the closed door, rotted my eyes frantically around the room as if that would have helped. 

"Shit," I said out loud, realising that I had lost the documents I had been carrying around. Without a second thought, I put my boots back on and flew out the door, because I couldn't let anyone ever find them. But my searching expedition lasted way less than expected, when I saw Daniel walk down the alley leading to my front door, wearing a confused look. 

"Hey, what's with the rush?" he greeted me, placing his arms on my shoulder and I wondered if he had done that as an affectionate gesture or to physically stop me. 

"Um, I wanted to go get something for the party tonight. I didn't even notice how time passed!" my words stumbled out of my mouth, but it seemed like they were credible enough for him to believe. He pouted, as his arms found their way around my waist.