Deceit: A Foundation For Love

The Studio

"Hey hey! Where's lover boy?"

Jungkook glared at Jay as he sat down. Five days had passed since he had admitted he liked Tae and they'd agreed to date. Jimin had been unbearable Monday morning when he had quizzed Jungkook until he was pleased it was time for class so he could escape his friend. Then Jimin had met him after every class and bored him shitless going on about how great the meal was that Yoongi had cooked. By the time Wednesday had arrived, Jungkook was tired of hearing about Jimin's make out session with Yoongi, when they'd sat and watched a movie after dinner and how they hadn't gone all the way yet but he hoped it would happen soon because his wrist was hurting from the countless times he needs to jerk off.

Jungkook had been texting Tae and they had met in the studio Wednesday after class to practice once more, with the broom and music that Yoongi had recorded for Tae with breaks so they had time to get into position and pick up the broom. Jungkook had given him a lift home and he'd made sure he kissed him when he helped him with the seat belt, doing his best to act on impulse and not allow the seeds of doubt and fear to ruin every single moment.

The hardest part right now was that Jungkook wanted to ask him out on a date but couldn't find the words. When he had been sort of acting and sort of not interested because of Jimin, it had been easy to ask Tae out but now it was different, for different reasons and he simply didn't know how. He reminded himself this was why he didn't do relationships, it caused him too much trouble.

Years ago he had tried being in a relationship, it had started well and he was in love, or at least he thought he was. Jun had treated him well and then he started wanting to spend every single minute with Jungkook. He yelled when Jungkook had studying to do or a family event and he went crazy when he wanted to do something with his friends. It happened so gradually that he hadn't realised it was a problem until one of his friends asked him why he didn't go out anymore and why he kept turning down invitations to everything.

By then it was almost impossible to get out of the relationship and he was trapped in a cycle. His friends fell away and people stopped inviting him to events and he was isolated with only Jun in his life who he saw constantly. High school was hell when you had no friends and a boyfriend who wouldn't let you breathe. His parents had become worried about him but he didn't want them involved so one day he sent Jun a text to tell him he couldn't see him any more. He felt like a coward for breaking up with Jun over text but he was feeling like a bigger coward because he did it the night before he went to stay with his Grandparents for a week. He told Jun that he would be blocking his number and he wouldn't be seeing him again and that is exactly what he did.

Jungkook went to a dance club while staying with his Grandparents and that's where he met Jimin. They had stayed in touch once he returned home and talking to Jimin, planning for university and living again had got him through the months of turning Jun away and ignoring his attempts at contact.

Jimin had tried to tell him that he shouldn't give up on relationships but Jungkook had decided that they weren't for him and he wouldn't be getting into one again. He didn't want anyone else having power over him, he didn't want his life dictated to, he didn't want to love anyone because that allowed the above to happen so it was best to avoid relationships altogether.

For years, that had worked, things were simplistic and then Jimin had wanted him to get close to Tae and he had started to like him. He was actually angry with himself for letting Tae in, it wasn't Tae's fault, he was unaware of the fact that Jungkook didn't do relationships but had he not been 'him' then Jungkook couldn't have started liking him at all.

He had considered pretending that he was pretending again because he might have more success in asking him on a date that way. He hadn't heard anything that anyone was saying as they sat at the table devouring their lunch and the moment he made an effort to listen, he heard Jimin mention Yoongi's steak stir fry and he zoned out again.