Color Rush: Episodes of Yoohan

Color Rush, Episode 3: childish

This is a retelling of episode 3 of Color Rush from Yoohan's POV. If you haven't seen it, this won't make sense.

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Go Yoohan was often called a child growing up--not as a comment on the fact that he was actually, by all definition of age, a child, but because that was how he acted. It was often used as an insult about his behavior, whether by his teachers or his family and growing up it confused Yoohan because... he was a child.

So what did they mean when they said "Yoohan, you're such a child", "stop being such a child", or "are you ever going to grow up instead of acting like a child"?

The day Yoohan had decided he would pursue the stage for his career, it was his eight birthday. He had always loved being the center of attention and he'd also always been good at singing, his family and friends' families (especially Joohaeng's) always complimented him, telling him what a wonderful voice he had. After putting on quite the performance at his own birthday party, Yoohan had walked up to his parents later that night and determined to them that he would be an idol.

"Yoohan, that is such a childish dream that you're going to grow out of, you'll see." His mother had told him, her voice so positive and sure of her own words.

"In the future, you'll see that it's much smarter to pick something more practical. An idol? Do you know how ridiculous a dream that is?" His father had said next and Yoohan could feel the heavy weight of the words crushing down on his heart as he turned and went back to his room.

Was it so bad? Wanting to sing and dance on stage and listen to the cheers of people calling his name? It had given him such a rush, performing for his friends and family, and they had enjoyed it, even his parents had. What was so childish about wanting to be special?

But the descriptor of him stuck as he grew up. His teachers would often use it as well, and maybe Yoohan goofed off a bit too much at times, but he knew what he wanted and he would make sure he got what he wanted. Damn whatever his parents or the people around him had to say. At least Joohaeng and eventually Minjae when he came into the picture were supportive of him. He was thankful to the two of them, truly.

Yoohan was never one to let things he wanted go easily. Whether that be a toy, an argument, or dance classes that he had saved all his allowance from age eight to twelve in order to take. When his parents found out and realized that, with or without their help, their son would be pursuing the path of being an idol, they eventually relented and paid for the classes themselves and Yoohan was good, really good.

He had found his calling and just that mere knowledge was enough to fill him with joy. One day he would be special to people and he would have exactly what he wanted.

And that mentality of having exactly what he wanted stuck with him. Why shouldn't he? He worked hard for it and when a person set their mind to something, then anything was within their grasp, wasn't it? And didn't he deserve to have what he wanted so long as he worked for it?

And wasn't it okay if he used that same thought process now as he watched Choi Yeonwoo walk off down the hall, clearly upset and annoyed by him as he stood there fanning himself with the color palette? Truly, Choi Yeonwoo was even prettier angry, the way his brows drew together, narrowing their distance, and the way he squinted his eyes to glare, his jaw set firm.

Yoohan had wanted to reach forward then and press his fingertips once again beneath Yeonwoo's chin and claim him right there, but he held himself back because he knew that Yeonwoo's determination to ignore him would eventually break. Because that's what Yoohan had set his mind to; breaking Yeonwoo's resolution until it was nothing more than floating dust in the air begging for a fix that only Yoohan could give him.