Would you like a cup of tea? || Shigeo Kageyama

Counting Days

Hotaru stood frozen, facing the busy street, with a pained and grim expression.

It wasn't as if she didn't know. It was more like she did not want to know, but no matter what others said, ignorance was not bliss, so in a twisted sense of the way, she was relieved to know the truth even clearer than before - no matter how bitter it was.

She stood with her back facing the white huge building. The cold wind blew against her.

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"It would be for the best if you stayed here." The older man with the white coat told her with a stern expression.

"..." Hotaru grasped the hems of her shirt tightly before releasing. "No. I don't think I will." She had made up her mind - since a while ago. "I would feel suffocated and I wouldn't be able to do what I want to do if I stayed here."

"But don't you want to-"

"I do." She interrupted. "But even if I were to for a bit longer, what would be the point? The only people who would be satisfied are my parents and perhaps you. But what does that make me? A doll? If I can't... No, if I'm not allowed or am stripped of my freedom to live the way that I want to... To feel alive again - truly alive and not in the way that doctors define as being alive, then what is the point?" A sardonic smile graced her lips.

He sighed heavily to himself. He looked at her with a sadness that could not be described clearly. Was it pity? She could not tell. "Well, I can accept that, but if you faint one more time, then we will need to hospitalize you."

"..." Her expression blanked as she then smiled sadly at him. "Understood. I can accept that."

He sighed again, but in relief. "Thank you."

"Well then... I think I'll head out now. But thank you for helping me so far..." She stood up from her seat and bowed to him politely. He could only smile painfully at her.

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She heavily walked towards the cafe when she heard a familiar voice.

"Can we go to the store before going home?"

It was Hope.

But it was not just Hope. He was with other people.

She hid in an alley out of surprise. Of course, he would have other friends. After all, hadn't he told her about them in his stories? But then again, seeing reality and hearing them as stories seemed radically different. She peeked out of the alley, watching them briefly walk away from her. A female student from the same school was about to pass her when she grabbed their arm. They looked at her, startled.

"Excuse me. Sorry for scaring you, but do you know who that guy with the bobcut hair is?" She pointed at Mob carefully.

"Hm..." The girl squinted her eyes and then let out a sigh. "Oh... It's better not to go for that loser. His brother is way cooler." Irritation flickered inside of Hotaru.

"I don't care about his brother. I just want to know the name of the boy that I pointed at." She articulated to her in a serious manner.

"Oh! U-um... It's Shigeo Kageyama... I think." The female student then shook her arm from Hotaru's grasp, shooting her a dirty look and walking off with a huff.

Hotaru faced the direction Mob was walking in with a dazed expression. "Shigeo... Kageyama..." She then stared up at the sky - and smiled sadly. "Ah, it's the sky that he likes..." She bit her bottom lip hard. Her eyes blurred and she held onto the hems of her shirt. It was such a typical sunny day and yet, to her, it seemed like the darkest day that she had ever seen.

Tears rolled down her cheeks and she covered her eyes with her hands. "Ngh..."

She could hear the carefree laughter of the students around her.

"I want to live too, you know?"