Continuing To Heal

New Ties

((Note: Steven Universe fan fiction Second User by Hadithi inspired idea of shared gem use with Connie)

Steven opened his eyes and found a pair of big, beautiful dark eyes looking back at him. She looked like she was studying him. He'd seen that look in Connie's eyes before, though never directed at himself. It was the look she'd get when she had made a decision that a problem wasn't hopeless and that she was determined to meet whatever the challenge was. She'd get it sometimes when having trouble absorbing a section of her study materials, or when having trouble mastering some new fighting technique introduced by Pearl. He wondered if she'd decided he was her next project. He wondered how he felt if she did.

"Morning," she said to him and he realized he'd just been staring at her for awhile.

He blushed slightly, "Morning. It's really nice to wake up with you here."

"Agreed," she smiled and reached a hand out to brush a lock of his hair back, "Did you sleep okay?"

"I think you must be a good dream charm because I've slept better than usual these last two nights."

"Perhaps," she smiled, then added, "hopefully you also feel a lightening of the load you've been trying to carry solo."

He didn't know what to say to that, so instead he sat up, a sniff to confirm and said, "One of the nice things about having a family member who sees the future is them knowing exactly when breakfast should be started."

Connie sniffed the air similarly, "You're right, that is convenient," she then reached over and took his hands into hers, and kissed one of his hands and said, "I want to apologize for how I reacted yesterday. It was a lot to process and that doesn't excuse it but just so you understand that it was wrong of me and I'm going to work harder at being supportive. And one very important thing is I need you to promise you'll stop hitting yourself."

Steven bowed his head. "If I promise to stop, I'd be lying." He rushed to explain however, worried she'd get mad, "I can promise to try and I have been trying for months now but, like I said yesterday, I still have times where I do it without realizing it right away and so I don't want to lie."

Connie hesitated a moment that Steven was sure aged him 50 years, before speaking, "I'll accept that. I don't want you to feel like you need to lie or keep things from me to keep the peace."

Steven resumed the breathing he hadn't realized he'd stopped, "Thank you."

"Can I get first dibs on the bathroom?"

"Go for it," Steven replied. He picked up his guitar and sat back on the bed. Just strummed randomly a bit and then tried playing without singing as he practiced a song on his list of songs to try to perform.

Connie came back halfway through the song. She waited for the song to end and then offered to be Steven's stairway helper so he could get down to the bathroom. After the bathroom, he went and sat at the kitchen counter. He kept his eyes aimed towards the counter and when Pearl placed breakfast in front of him, he thanked her, but didn't look up at her. As Connie sat on the stool beside him and ate breakfast as well, Steven just kept his eyes on his plate and quietly ate.

Without looking around, Steven had been able to tell through peripheral vision that his dad was sitting on the cot that had been set up in the living room for his dad to stay closer since Steven's attempt at removing his gem. Garnet and Amethyst were sitting on the couch and Dr Hashman was not yet there. The TV wasn't on and nobody was talking, making Steven painfully aware that everyone was essentially just focused on watching him eat. He had started with a general unease that was growing threads of nervousness that were multiplying with each bite.