tw: mentions of rape,
self harm and
attempting suicidemykayla's pov
as i run towards the platform, suddenly it feels like i'm in slow motion while the rest of the world is still working perfectly.
even though that was the fastest i've even ran, it still felt like the slowest.
the flame lit up as Laurel pressed the trigger and the blue orange flame appeared. i wanted to scream, i wanted to tell her to get the fuck away from my jacket.
tears streamed down my now red cheeks and my throat feels hoarse.
i opened my mouth and no sound came out but i still continued, i continued till suddenly there was air in my lungs and my body felt different, it gave way i let out a yell.
not a very steady one though, it was one with voice cracks and my voice sounded high pitched.
laurel looked towards me and let go of the trigger before her eyes widened in disbelief, as i looked around, everyone around me showed me practically the same look.
apart from jayda and ian of course... they knew. but even they had a small bit of disbelief, probably from the fact i would actually do it infront of a crowd.
but the first person i turned my head towards was billie, her eyes dropped and her face morphed into a expression of disbelief and betrayal. it looked as if all her trust for me was now stabbed and thrown into a bin.
immediately there was a pit in my stomach, and i felt an unexplainable emotion, it's hard to express or even put it into words really, it makes you feel empty and you don't know what to do. it makes you wanna scream, but you can't.
but i continued running towards the platform and quickly grabbed my jacket away from laurel's loose grip and ran off the stage and into the crowd again.
slowly, laurel's face turned into a smirk, "who knew mykayla could actually speak? you've been faking it for months now? haven't you?" she asks me.
everyone's eyes were on me now and my anxiety starts to rise, sweat drips down my forehead and my chest starts to feel heavy. a single drops welled up from the corner of my eye and my vision blurs as i try to keep it from falling.
i try to explain myself but i find that i can't, that burst of energy i felt just now was no where to be found. fuck this, it always comes out at the wrong fucking time, why can't you come out now. get the fuck out.
"why? now you can't speak? everyone saw it so answer the question. speak." laurel says. i look around and everyone looked angry, i run out of the mansion and look around for somewhere to go to.
everywhere i went, it was a dead end, finally, i find myself at the back of the mansion and at the corner of my eyes i spot a garden and quickly run there.
i hide behind a bush and quickly sat down to collect my breathe. fuck this. fuck life. fuck everything.
i put my hands on my face and i feel like screaming, if i could i would but there it was, gone again. if only i could get it out at the right time...
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𝐌 𝐔 𝐓 𝐄 // 𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐄𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡
Fanfiction"ITS EILISH DIPSHIT." billie yells to the teacher as she turns around to head to the office. // started: 23rd july 2020 end: -