I (Almost) Loved You

6- Buried in these walls

I rolled over in bed, looking at the time. 2:32. So I've been laying here for 4 hours and twelve minutes with no sleep. Great. 

What's going on with me? Why can't I sleep? It's not like some world shattering event happened tonight, while I've been laying here. 

 In my head, a clock was ticking. Pissing me off, though, at the same time. It isn't like when you're in school and you're desperate to get out of your last class. No, this clock is loud, obnoxious, making it harder for me to sleep. 

I tried to muffle it with my pillow, but ended up throwing it across the room and giving up. Only then, did the ticking stop. 

It didn't help me sleep though, not at all. Every time I closed my eyes, all I could think about was Oli and Talya, making out on my locker. Oh, my bad, next to my locker. That was all I saw. Followed by me walking out alone. It's not the most pleasant feeling in the world, at any time of day. I know I could have snapped at Talya, and not Oli, but I didn't, I kept my cool. That's what I do. I keep my cool, even when I'm pissed off. It's hard, but I've been doing it since I met Oli. Even though he is my best friend, he hurts me alot more than he seems to realize. 

So no, I didn't sleep. I just laid there, my eyes closed, wide awake. Around five, I started crying. Banged my head on the wall five or six times. 

From the other side of the wall, my sister probably thought I was having some kind of psycho spazz attack. She wakes up at five. 

Around six I finally got up, getting ready, while making a huge ass pot of coffee, that my heart shouldn't be able to stand. I have a heart condition with some long name I can't remember, and basically it means I shouldn't have coffee. It isn't because I get hyper, I've never been hyper in my entire life. The caffeine can make my heart stop at any moment. Which is honestly a thrilling thing that sounds cool. 

Looking outside and seeing the rain, I decided it'd be smart to ride the bus, even though I hated the smelly, yellow, stretched out van from hell. I filled my coffee cup again, snapped a lid on it, and walked out to the bus stop just as it appeared. 

I sat down alone, listening to Motionless in White's 'Infamous' album, just thinking.

I feel like I should apologize to Oli, but then again, should I, if I didn't really do anything? Apologize, for being hurt?

 I got off the bus as Devil's Night started, heading to my usual corner by the doors. Luckily, the aides were nice enough to let me in, even though at least half of them don't like me or my friends. I smiled at them, showing 'gratitude' (not really, I hate them all), and stood over by the door. They don't let you go far before 7:30, when the opening bell rings. So I just sort of stood there until someone I actually tolerated joined me.

Oli was first, with his friend Allan. "Hey, Karma. You look tired." I took my earbuds out and turned my iPod off.

I glared at him. "No shit, sherlock." 

Oli pretended to look offended. "Rude."

Allan, though quiet, was laughing his ass off. I have to give him credit, even though he doesn't talk much, he's funny. 

"Well, did something happen, did you wanna talk?" Oli glanced at me, concerned.

"No, I just couldn't sleep."

The opening bell rang, so I could leave my spot by the door and stand by my locker, my usual place. Naturally, followed by Oli, Allan, and their friends. I was surprised that Oli's fangirls weren't around. Talya wasn't, either. 

"Hey, uh, Oli, where are your fanbitches?" Allan nudged Oli in the ribs with his elbow. 

"No idea. Must be takin' a day off." Oli looked around. 

I just leaned back against the wall, putting my earbuds back in. 

As always, I was rudely interrupted, in the middle of an Of Mice & Men song, 'Glass hearts.' Not by Oli or Allan, though.

 But by my manwhore ex-boyfriend Elias, who can never seem to get enough of me. And I'm dead serious when I say this. We've 'dated' five or six times over the course of four years, and for some reason, he's always back for more. I stopped caring, honestly, after the third or fourth time, because he would only screw me over. Which is never a good thing. But for whatever reason, he stuck around. "Hey, Karma."

I blinked and groaned, using my tiredness for all that it was worth. He usually takes that as 'Go away, leave me alone.'  

"Everything okay?"

Nope, he's not buying it. ;-;

I shrugged. "What do you care?"

Being a dick to him works, too. Or it did. 

"You know I care."        

Oli coughed behind him. "She knows you're on bullshit." 

Elias turned to him. "Was I talking to you?"

"No, but I'm sick of you pulling this shit on Karma. She doesn't need you screwing up her life all the time."

Okay, Oli, you didn't have to go that far....

"Do you not see what you do to her, Oliver?" Shit. He brought out the truth and said Oli's real name in the same damn sentence. Score one for Elias.

"Oh, shut up. She tells me when she's upset with me. And she isn't now. We're friends, best friends. I know I fuck up sometimes, but at least I don't fuck with her heart."

Allan, being a bitch like that, made a dramatic gasp sound, causing a bunch of random people to stare. It was pretty funny, but definitely at a bad time.

"Oli, my relationships aren't any of your business." I broke in.

"You're my best friend."

"I'm not doing this." I rolled my eyes, walking away from both of them. 

I didn't walk out of sight, just a few feet away to a corner, escaping into my mind instead. 

Sometimes a mental escape is better than leaving physically. One's own feet can't get you everywhere, and when you're thinking, you can go wherever you want to. 

Today, I'm going back home.

Original, right? Of all the choices I have, I choose to go home. Home and to my room, doors locked. No Katie to bother me. No bullshit from others. Just me, alone. A little music. But mostly silence. The nicest thing in the world. Buried in my bedroom walls, forever. Buried in them and hiding from everything.

But of course, the bell just has to ring.

        {Author's Note}                

Aye, guys, I haven't gotten any feedback... Do you like this story, should I continue?

 Also, this chapter especially, is based off of true events. A lot of my stories are. But anyways, Yeah. Feel free to tell me what you think. I love you all, and everything you say. 

Love,

 Kayls