I (Almost) Loved You

5- Have Faith In Me

Adrian asked me what was wrong when I came to school irritable, as if he hadn't seen it enough already in the past two weeks. I used the 'I'm just tired' excuse, and I know he didn't buy it, but he didn't say anything. He just walked off to Oli and the rest of 'the group,' where Oli was all cuddly with Talya. I just tried to tune it out, pretend I didn't see it, and sit down in a corner maybe ten feet away, pulling out my notebook and a pencil. I was drawing a stupid rose when a freshman named Nick sat next to me. "Hey, Karma. Whatcha drawing?"

I smiled. He's the kind of guy that seems childish, but makes you happy, even when you're upset, just with his presence. "Eh, it's just a rose."

He looked at it. "It's nice."

Another good thing about this kid? He's sweet.

"Thanks, kid." He groaned at the 'Kid' part as I ruffled his hair.

"Anytime."

Nick stood up, walking away to meet a group of girls. I hoped he wouldn't make a fool out of himself like he has so many times before, but I stayed tight-lipped.

"Come on, Karma." I looked up. It was Oli.

Can't he see I'd rather be left alone?

I rolled my eyes. "Nah."

Oli crouched down to eye level. "What's going on with you?"

I avoided eye contact. "What's it to you, you don't care." Okay, that was harsh, but he deserved it. He seriously pissed me off the other day, making out with Talya on my locker. It bothers me for more than just being on it. I'm a little envious, but only because my feelings for him are stronger than they should be.

"How do you figure that, Karma?" Oli raised a brow.

"Because, half the shit I say doesn't matter anymore!" I blurted it out. "You don't care about anyone but Talya, even though you always said I was your best friend." I hid my face, feeling incredibly selfish. Who am I to tell him who he cares about, or should care about? It doesn't matter to him, only Talya does.

Oli sat down across from me, his hand on my knee. "Look, I know it seems that way, but there's alot going on right now. She needs me."

"Really, because from what I've seen, she's just fine," I mused.

Oli groaned. "You know, it actually bothers me sometimes when you say shit like that."

I bit my lip. "I'm sorry. I just got a little jealous, I guess. I wanted my best friend to spend time with me. I took it too far."

"Nawh, you're alright, just relax, okay. We'll hang out soon, I promise. Talya's going to the football game with some of her church friends on Friday. How about then?"

I smiled. "Okay."

Oli smiled too. "Hey, relax, okay? I know shit gets hard sometimes. I know I'm not helping much, spending so much time with Talya, neglecting what you need, but I do care. I wish you'd speak up more, Karma. I want to understand. I mean, duh, I'm no girl, but I can try to relate. I live in a houseful of girls, I deal with their shit. I learned alot from them." He sat down next to me, where Nick originally was. I laid my head on his shoulder, listening to him ramble, not even caring, only because his voice is perfect. I could listen to it forever. "I'm still here for you, you know my number, skype, and all of that stuff. Anytime you need me, you better tell me. I mean it. I'm not gonna lose my best friend again. You have no idea how much I actually worry about you."

Tears, even though I didn't want them to, they started falling down my face. I clung to his jacket and buried my face in his shoulder. "D-don't leave me again.."

Oli tilted my chin up. "I won't."

I clung harder and buried my face in his neck. "P-promise?"

He's promised this before, many times, and wasn't always true to it. I want him to be true.

"Yes." Oli's hair brushed against my forehead. "I know I fucked up. But you're my best friend. I can't keep doing that to you. You're the only person who's stuck around and believed in me over the years. Don't let me fuck up again, okay?"

I nodded. "I won't. I'll keep you in line."

Oli smiled. "Good."

I started mumbling the words to 'Have Faith In Me' by A Day To Remember unconsciously.

Oli's the only one who seems to have faith in me, no matter what happens. He's never let me go down alone, he always went with me, and he pulled me out of my darkness. I couldn't imagine living a life without my best friend, because if I did live without him, I know I'd be stuck in it forever. Sometimes I wish I could end it all, sometimes I feel like I fall alone, but he somehow picks me up in the end.

Because that's what friends are for. And even if I have feelings for my best friend, I refuse to let that ruin it. I can't let my feelings get in the way. Because if he knew, he'd lose all faith in me. And he's the only one who has it.

*Author's note*

I know this story isn't fabulous, and this chapter is pathetic, but I'm trying really hard. I'm not going to be all thirsty and try to make you guys read this. But I'd really like it if you did, and gave me some feedback. I'll continue regardless, but I'd just like to know your thoughts. And I'm going to start dedications to the readers who voice their opinions, or are first to vote, etc. I'm being nice, and it'll help you get recognition, hehe. I'm picking a random right now though.

Like I said, feedback, please?

Thanks, lovelies. x I appreciate it.

-Kayls