Stars➳ Newt{2}

We Count On You

We all sat around in the darkness and the only thing that was providing us light and warmth was the fire Infront of us. None of us said a word. It was just the crackling fire wood speaking.

Aris had chucked more fire wood in flaring it up causing more heat, and all I did was stare. Not one witty comment had come out my mouth. I couldn't even look at anyone in the same way.

"I thought we were meant to be immune?" Minho questioned and I didn't want to answer or talk. "Not all of us I guess."

Teresa said and I could feel Thomas's eyes on me but I didn't look in his direction once.

"If Winston can get affected, I assume the rest of us can to." Newt clarified as he looked my way and I had my knees up in the air as my feet were rested on the ground, I wasn't fully hugging my knees.

"I never thought I would say this. But I miss the glade." I heard Fry say and I couldn't take it anymore. I don't even know what's going on with me but I can't just sit here and listen to everyone.

I rose up on my feet shaking the sand if off me. "I can't do this right now. " I told them being straight up and I was about to walk away to god knows where.

"Where are you going?" Newts asked and I looked back at him simply shrugging my shoulders. "I don't know, and I don't care."

I said clicking my torch open as I walked a decent distance away from the fire. I sat my ass down on the sand not even caring anymore.

What if I could've helped him? Like I helped Chuck? Or Jeff, or Clint, or even Gally. And everyone relys on me to heal everyone, to know everything, god I worked in a glade for a month! I'm not some high med tech doctor. I blame WICKED. No fuck Wicked. I blame myself. I should've used my bitchy brain and actually thought of something useful.

"You mind if I sit?" I heard Thomas say and I didn't even turn my head to him he just took my silence as a yes seating himself next to me.

"I know how you feel-"

"Cut the bullshit Tommy." I said as I kept a straight face but my words were aggressive towards him.

"We all lost him. You can't just go sulk because-"

"It's not just about Winston smartass. It's about how I could've helped. It's about everyone that's died, it's about Chuck. Everyone over there is relying on me to help when someone's hurt. Me, not you, me. So no, it's not about all of us, or you, for once, it's the pressure on me to save someone. So shut your god damn mouth and let me think for once."

Harsh, or not. I don't care. I said what I said because I was stating pure facts. And I'm probably going to regret the tone I used in him but at this point, I don't care.

"We rely on you, because your loyal, your smart, your brave, your the only one who thinks, and your not me. Oh and your one hell of a strong girl. Not that it makes a difference." He couraged me and I shook my head at his words. He can't make me feel better. Not right now.

"What if something happens to someone else out there and I can't help. To Aris, or Teresa, or Fry, or Minho, or even Newt. Or you. What if we're out here putting all our lives in danger and I loose the only family I knew."

My voice was shattered as I listed everyone's names. I felt him wrap a arm around me pulling me in closer to him for comfort.

"That's not gonna happen."

I scoffed at his comment shaking my head. "Because you can see into the future, the only thing your good at is asking questions." I stated saarcastically and he let out a small laugh.