Deep Waters

Chapter Fifty

It was hours later, and we were long gone from the gas station and that old, bullet damaged truck that had carried us for miles on end. I had filled the gas tank up a while back and was basically just driving in silence as I waited for Jay to wake up. My guess was that we were around fifteen hours away from his parents' house, though it was nothing more than an educated guess. I didn't know an exact location we were headed because Jay never told me. I just knew a general area. He was just now starting to stir, and it made anxiety play a quick game of twister in my abdomen.

With a deep inhale, Jay sat up in the seat, stretching his arms as far as they could in the small area. As he sighed and emptied his lungs, he wiped the sleep from his eyes and groggily looked around. I kept glancing at his eyes in the rearview mirror and watched the confusion slowly glaze over them. "...whose car is this?" he finally questioned after a long moment of thinking.

I took a breath and slipped him an exaggerated and very forced small smile. "Ours?"

He stared at me for a long moment, making me nervously glance between the road in front of me and the rearview mirror. "Delilah, I'm serious."

"Me too."

"Where's my truck?"

I bit my lip. "With a kind lady and her daughter." I kept my voice steady and calm, hoping it would slow down his anger that I could see multiplying. His chest rose and fell in deep heaves and his eyes grew rounder by the second.

"You stole a car," he realized.

I tilted my head and squinted an eye. "I technically exchanged it."

"You stole a car!" Jay yelled this time, catching me a little by surprise.

Looking back at the road, I didn't want to look him in the eye anymore. "I had to."

"Oh, please, Delilah, you didn't have to do anything! Are you crazy? Do you realize what you've done?" He was screaming now. Being trapped in such a small space with someone who was full-on screaming at you was terrifying. "Stop the car right now!" With all the tension crocheted around us, I didn't hesitate to listen and pulled the car off on the side of the busy road. Within a few seconds, I put the car in park and sat there as the car shook with each car zooming past us.

"Jayden, I—," I tried to reason.

"I actually can't believe you would be this stupid," he continued, fury lighting his eyes like fire. "Do you realize we would go to jail for this? I've never been to jail and I don't plan on going now!"

I gritted my teeth. "Daniel could get us out of it if needed."

"My dad is also a cop, Delilah!" What was with me and getting involved with the sons of policemen? "What am I supposed to say when we get to my house and he asks where my truck went? He could easily look up this license plate number and know it doesn't belong to me!" Jay was sitting in the middle seat, his eyes not daring to leave me for a second.

I rolled mine. "Well, you never told me your dad was a cop."

"It wouldn't have mattered, or made a single difference!" he screamed.

I turned around to face him. "Okay! I'm sorry I put you in this situation! But I made that decision and I did what I thought was best for our scenario, and I don't regret it. Not even a little bit," I growled back at him. "We had to get rid of that truck! It always comes down to survival to me! I was saving myself and I was saving you."

"And what about that family, huh?" he asked, putting on a show. "You gonna let them die in your place now?"

I glared daggers at the man. "I left them a note, Jayden; I told them how dangerous it was for them to keep the truck. I'm not that heartless. I told them to get rid of it. Sell it for parts or something."

"And what if they don't listen?"

"I pray that they do."

His stance didn't relax one bit. "That truck can be traced back to me, Delilah! Are you okay with getting me arrested for your stupid decision?"

"I explained the situation enough, Jay!" I groaned, aggravated and angry beyond comfort. "Plus, your dad could help us if needed."

Scoffing, he crosses his arms and sits back against his seat. "I can't believe you, right now."

My heart hammered in my chest, a rock rolled in my throat, and I was fighting back tears with all my might. I was definitely the kind of girl that cried when mad. "So what? Are you regretting helping me now? Do you wish you never walked up to that bloody and scared girl at that old gas station? Wish you never even thought about asking that girl if she needed help?"

He stared me dead in the eyes. "Yeah. Maybe I do."

Whether my heart dropped in my chest or an invisible hammer collided with my ribcage, it definitely hurt and pulled down my fight from tears. "Fine." Grabbing my phone, I turned off the ignition and climbed out of the car, not even caring that I was on the side of an interstate with a high chance of getting hit by a car. I didn't hear, nor care that Jay climbed out of the car behind me as I stomped away.

"Where are you going?" Jay called out to me, over the loud roars of the cars passing near. Once again, I had no idea where. Wherever I ended up I guess. Hopefully, closer to Charles so I could kill him myself. "Delilah!" I continued to ignore him. I even picked up my pace. "Would you just stop!" he screamed louder than ever before.

I spun on my heel and faced him with fury. Tears streaming down my face as emotion overcame me. "No!" I screamed, mimicking his tone. "Because you are right! I made a mistake! I messed up!" I cried. "Is that what you want to hear? Cause I admit it! I admit it, Jay! I really screwed us over! I screwed that family over. I really, really screwed up!" I wiped the wetness from my cheeks, angry that I had let them get that way in the first place. "And that family might die now! Charles will have them killed! You'll go to jail for stealing this stupid car and it'll be my fault."

I was full-on sobbing now, but I couldn't stop. Everything was weighing on me at once. Everything that had ever happened. Every. Single. Thing. "It's always my fault! Everything that happens! Because I never listen. I never listen. I never listened to my dad. I never listened to my brother. The police. My friends..." I shook my head. "Jay, my mother died because of me. My brother has been hunted because of me. Aria got shot. Kason got shot. Innocent people have been murdered, all because of a little girl who wouldn't just listen to her father!"

Jayden just stared at me for a long moment. I could see the hurt in his eyes. The sorrow. It was almost like he was mourning everything for me. His green eyes glistened with unshed tears. All I could do was heave in my hurt, as he walked up to me with outstretched arms and pulled me into him. He held me as I cried. As I broke down. As I carried the weight of the world on my shoulders. I never meant to yell at him and that just made me cry more. He didn't deserve all of my problems.

"It wasn't your fault, Delilah," he mumbled into my hair as I buried my face in his T-shirt. "It was never your fault. None of it. Not a single thing. I'm sorry for making you think that it was." He breathed on my neck. "Absolutely none of it was ever because of something you did or didn't do." His words were appreciated, but it didn't help me stop crying.

"I wish my brother was here," I admitted through tight breaths. "Or Kason." I cried into him. "I feel like I'm all alone out here."

Jay's arms tightened around me. "...you aren't alone. I'm right here."

For a long moment, we just stood there in the breezy air as I cried and busy vehicles sped up the interstate. At one point he even kissed my hairline. And honestly, it was comforting. I missed being held like this. I missed my life back home when I was surrounded by people who cared about me.

 Once my sobs were more sniffles and fewer hiccups, Jay guided me back to the car. He helped me gently get in the back seat and lay down. He even buckled me up and combed my messy hair out of my face with his fingers. "Go to sleep, Delilah. You need it." I knew he was right. I couldn't even calculate the hours since I had last been asleep. I was far beyond sleep deprived at this point.

So that's what I did. Jay made his way around the front of the car and climbed into the driver's seat. I don't even think he had gotten back on the road and at the speed of everyone else before I drifted off into the wave of darkness.