Deep Waters

Chapter Fifty-Seven

Jay fell asleep pretty quick, and his loud snoring filled the air. Kason and I shared blankets on the far side of the room while Jay laid ten feet away closer to the door. I fought for a while, but I couldn't fall asleep. Right before we laid down for the night, Kason and Jay set up a laptop in the corner of the room that displayed the cameras that were filming outside. The fact that I could lay here and watch for Charles was relieving and nerve-wracking at the same time.

I couldn't help but linger in my thoughts. Maybe they were the reason I couldn't rest. Or maybe it was the fact that I was laying on a hard wooden floor. Either way, the question was front and center in my mind: Could I keep Jay and Kason safe? Would I be able to save Jay in the end? Would he want me to? What if he survived this and it ended up being cancer that took him down after all? Would he be upset? Does he want to die? He didn't have much time left. If he wanted Charles to take his life away for him, it was going to have to be really soon.

A warm arm wrapped tightly around me as I laid on my back and stared at the ceiling. Kason cuddled into my side like a koala, breathing hot air onto my neck. "What's on your mind, Babe?"

I sighed, not answering his question and keeping my voice low so we wouldn't wake Jay up. "You should be asleep, Kason."

"Well, I can't sleep until I know you're asleep," he whispered. I could feel his heartbeat on my upper arm, and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't comforting. How would I go about my days and nights if I wasn't able to feel his heartbeat like I can now? What if a day came when Charles took these moments away from me? What would I do then? How would I go about my days living without him being able to be there for me when I needed him? All I remembered about my life before he entered it was pain, aggravation, and complexity. He tended to my emotional stress, he calmed my anxious thoughts and he made everything so much easier.

And yes, Gavin would still be there if I lost Kason. And if it came to a time where Kason was taken away from me, I knew I'd go through hell, but I knew it would get easier being left behind one day. I would still have my brother to care for me when I needed it. I'd have his comfort. Don't get me wrong, I'd do anything in the world to not lose Kason, but I knew I'd survive. But Gavin? Gavin knew me like no other ever will be able to. Kason knows me like the back of his hand, but he will never be able to understand me as Gavin does. My brother knows my pain. He understands it. He goes through it too. If he died? I wouldn't make it through. I can't say it would ever be easier. I truly don't know what I would ever do. But on the bright side, he wasn't going to be here to face the end of Charles' wrath. It really sucked that Kason and Jay will have to witness it, but at least Gavin wasn't here too. Then, I'd be panicking a lot more than I already am. I wish I could face Charles on my own without having to worry about the damage Charles could have on those around me.

"Don't you think it's crazy how we were hiding with another murderer without knowing while we were running from a different one?" Kason's quiet voice filled my ears, interrupting my busy head. "How ironic is that?"

I huffed. "Yeah, I can't say I expected that one." With our luck, Jay was a murderer too. He'd kill us in our sleep and we never would have suspected. I can't say I wouldn't be that surprised. "Though I guess I should have with the way he acted around me," I admitted. "I should have suspected it as soon as I figured out his ex-girlfriend went missing...who happened to look almost identical to me."

"Maybe he took you to Charles because you never liked him and didn't react to him how he wanted you to," my boyfriend suggested, maybe trying to give Sam a little more benefit of the doubt. I think we both knew his words weren't true though. Sam was just a straight-up psychopath that enjoyed watching people suffer. But then again, I had only heard bad things about him. Maybe we were all wrong about it after all. Maybe there was a suffering human being underneath all his actions.

"I never liked him because of his actions," I retorted back with a scoff. "If he wanted a friend he could have at least pretended to be a decent human being." Kason shifted beside me but didn't have time to pitch in a word before I continued. "And what was with me and Macy looking so much alike? It's uncanny, creepy, scary movie crap...like what the heck was that about?"

"I don't know," he admitted. A puff of warm breath hit my neck as Kason sighed. "That morning when I woke up and you were gone...I swear my heart stopped," he told me. "Gavin and I both immediately knew something wrong. And Hazel—she was freaking out, saying that Sam was doing it all over again." My boyfriend's fingers lingered at the bottom of my hoodie where a little bit of my skin was exposed and caressed small comforting circles. "She seemed to know immediately what had happened. Though she thought you were dead and Sam had run for it because he knew he'd get caught this time."

I took a deep breath. "That evening when she and I were talking, I had convinced her to talk to Charles about what Sam did to Macy," I informed Kason. "She was finally going to do something about the guilt that had been eating away at her since Macy disappeared. This whole time she had been feeling guilty for not following her gut that something bigger had happened that night than everyone was led to believe." Closing my eyes for a brief moment, I relished in this moment where we were able to just lay down in a quiet world around us. No chaos. No running. No looking around a corner after every step forward. "She's likely right too."

The skin tingled as Kason's hand left the bottom of my shirt hem to the ring strung on a chain around my neck. His touch sent shivers across the skin he danced over on my chest. I breathed while he twirled the ring around and fumbled with it. "I love that you wear this every day," he admitted softly, a tinge of sadness tracing his tone.

I reached my hand up and started playing with his hair. It was soft and clean, gliding easily as I waltzed it around with my fingers. "I never take it off," I admitted to him. Why would I? This was the best promise I had ever received. It made me happy. It reminded me of a big light in this world that was named Kason Wesley.

For a while, we laid in silence and if it wasn't for him still playing with the ring he gave me then I would have thought he had fallen asleep. It was long enough for my heartbeat to finally slow down and for me to be on the edge of unconsciousness. I had lost the energy of playing with Kason's hair and was now cradling his head with my arm after he had moved his head onto my shoulder. I was closing my eyes when he spoke up again. "I hope one day you can wear this around your finger without having to worry about losing it in a bloodbath," my boyfriend mumbled, emotion swallowing his words.

I barely heard him, but I did. Taking a deep breath, I released it slowly. "I love you," I told him.

Releasing the jewelry from his touch and lifting his head, he placed a gentle kiss on my neck, one on my jaw, and then an even softer, delicate kiss on my lips when I turned my head toward him. Boy, the electricity this man made me feel was indescribable. "I love you more," he whispered. 

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I am done with beauty school and don't start my job until the 12th of this month so I will be writing more:) Hopefully I will  be able to write the rest of this book a head of time so all I will have to do is edit through before I post:)