Colette: AHH that was a refreshing ride. now let's hope the guys cleaned the kitchen before they left or I'll chop their dick off.
Colette: ...uhm.... what is this white stuff...
AL: oh sorry I was late Colette. the bus came late an- WHAT CO CLETTE WHAT?? ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE I SWEAR!
*back to present*
Colette: Linguini... what is this... what happened when I was gone...
AL: LOOK COLETTE, ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. I SWEAR WE WERE JUST PLAYING AROUND. NOT SERIOUS
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Colette: "we"?? what do you mean "we". what happened. tell me NOW.
AL: look, please just don't *sigh* just please don't get mad....
Colette: you know what. I don't care anymore. the restaurant is opening soon. we'll talk later.
Colette: wait where's Remy?
AL: wait he hasn't arrived yet?? he's usually the first to come here. *in him head* why is Remy not here I must have done something wrong again shit.
AL: uh-Uhm if you want I can get him for you. yeah. *in his head* ILL DO ANYTHING TO GET ME OUT OF THIS SITUATION
Colette: okay we'll make sure to be quick got it. oh and no funny shit okay be back here or I'll chop your head off
*Linguini walking to Remy's house*
Emile: yo bro you got to wake up man you have work. brooooo. wake up rn if you gay!!! OMG YOU'RE STILL SLEEPING HA YOU ARE GAY. no dude but fr tho wake up man I can't keep on doing this.
Remy: *stoned as fuck rn lol* well you see if I want to wake up I'd be sleeping rn cus wait where Linguini WHA- WAIT WHAT TIME IS I- *he fell lol so falling sound effects*
*doorbell rings*
Emile: hold up dude let me get the door. STAY RIGHT THER- OH LINGUINI GREAT TIMING NOW HELP ME GET REMY OUT RN
Remy rn:
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AL: REMY WHAT HAPPENED??
Emile: Im not really sure but he's been repeatedly calling for you and I think he took some read stuff
AL: green stuff?? LIKE DRUGS?? fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck this is all my fault
Emile: well I have to go I'll leave you to this BYEEEE
AL:oh Remy im so sorry. you're at this state cause of me. I'm sorry I left all of a sudden yesterday. I was just so confused.... what I'm trying to say is that.. I'm sorry
*Remy woke up 🐀*
Remy: wo-woAHHHH LINGUINI FUCK IM SO SORRY. ALL OF THIS. THIS IS ALL MY FAULT. I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT TO YOU THE OTHER NIGHT. I REGRETTED EVERYTHING. PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME PLEASE... *crying noises lol*
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*Linguini hugs Remy*
AL: nono it's not your fault. please don't cry. we were both at fault okay. now you need to get up and drink some water. I'll tell Colette that you'll take a day of-
*remy looks linguini directly in the eyes and starts to tear up, he moves closer to linguini laying his slightly larger than average (😏) paw on his best friend's muscly thigh*
Remy: 'well you certainly havnt been skipping leg day' remy thinks to himself*
remy: Linguini, im so sorry please dont leave me for collette what does she have that i dont, please dont leave me for a skank like h-
*remy vomits all over the greasy cheese covered floor, its horrible, chunks of undissolved pills coming up*
bulimia DUN DUNDUN NNN (joke)
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AL: oh remy, itll be okay please dont worry everything will be fine, lets just get you sober first then we can talk
remy: NO come here i need you! *remy starts undoing linguinis belt, linguinis big cock jumps up almost flicking remy off it but linguini fights back*
AL: remy no! what are you doing! youre in no state for this stop it!
remy: *slurring his words* come on baby look at you you know you want it
*remy moves back down to linguinis crotch and starts pulling on his bright orange pubes and licking his tip, linguini gets mad and takes remy out of his pants quickly zipping up*
AL: REMY STOP IT I WONT TAJE ADVANTAGE OF YOU WHILE YOURE LIKE THIS! YOURE SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS STOP IT!
*remy starts to sob*
remy: im so *hic* sorry big L please dont *sniff* leave meee!
*remy starts limping around, cleary dizzy and falls unconscious*
AL: remy?
*no response*
AL: REMY! HELPPP!
* linguini knows whats going on, remy needs help, if he doesnt call an ambulance quickly his best friend might not make it. linguini quickly calls a doctor and as he waits for them to come looks down at his blue balls*
AL: its gonna be okay, its worth it, you have to make a choice, collette? or remy....
