Loving The Lost

Chapter 9

The photo above (or to the side, depending on how its presented on ur devise) is what I perceived to be what Lily wold look like. You can use ur own imaginations if u want,  this is just how I see her to be. 

Jay's POV:

Its been two weeks since Asher had a panic attack on the roof. Amy had a go at me, she had a whole speech and everything for ditching her at lunch. But once I explained she had a go at me for scaring him in the first place. I can never win with that girl.

Everyday since I have gone up to the roof at lunch break with Asher, I don't even mind the cold weather at all. I've noticed a few things about him, like he doesn't eat lunch at all and even when I get him something to eat he only takes small bites before he's 'full'. Honestly that just pisses me off slightly, he's so skinny and small, I guess I'm more worried than pissed but its all the same in the end. For the first day it was just me and him, but after some persuasion he allowed Amy to join because she was on my back about it. He barely talks but I can understand why, he mostly just listens in on mine and Amy's conversations and occasionally pitches in. I notice he flinches and looks slightly scared for a split second every time we cures, like AT ALL, so we refrain from the profanity for his sake.

I've seen him for an hour and 15 minutes everyday. I don't even understand it myself, why I like him so much. Why I find him so cute and beautiful with out even trying, why I pray to hear his voice even if its in stutters, or why I always feel like I need to protect him even though there's nothing wrong. I have no clue, but I'm not complaining.

"I really like Asher you know." I text to Amy while I just lay on my bed. It's Saturday night, so as usual I have nothing planned other than text/ annoy Amy and my sister. Ive basically just watched tv all day, and the occasional homework.

"OH MY GOD I HAD NO IDEA!!!"she sarcastically reply's

"Ok great. I need you to talk me out of doing something stupid."

"Where r u going with this?"

"I'm going to come out to my mom. Like today." My fingers were shaking as they hover above the screen from my nerves. This could either be the best or worst decision of m life. I don't really know why I waited so long to do it, some part of me regrets not doing it earlier so that my father would have known. I have no idea how he would have taken the news, but I just wanted him to know who his son was before he died. That is one of the reasons I'm making this spontaneous decision, also the fact that I'm in love with a boy currently and have no idea how long I'm going to be able to hide my sexuality from her.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD BITCH YEESSSSS!!!! Its about time as well. I fell like I should try to comfort you or some shit, but I honestly have no idea how to do that. So on that note, good luck I think 🥴👍" I cant help but let out a small laugh at her lack of ability to sympathise. Although her trying did mean something to me, and calmed my nerve a little bit.

"Thats not talking me out of it dumass. Also thx for the support ☺️ "

"Listen you've got nothing to worry about. I met your mum and she seems pretty chill, also u have Lily there for you anyway." I haven't even thought about Lily yet, dam I really an stupid.

"Yh ur right."

"Ik I am. Anyway I gtg my mom Is calling me to clean up the living room, we have guests today😒. Trust me it's going to be fine don't worry too much byeee."

"K talk to u tmrw bye."I shut off my pone and drag my self off my bed to head to the door. I knock on Lilys door but there's no reply, I knock again it still nothing.