Loving The Lost

Chapter 25

Asher's POV:

I'm in a dark abyss. It's just black all around me, just nothing. No floor or walls, just endless black all around. I feel a numb pain well...everywhere. Like its old pain, and ache that covers my entire body, every muscle and bone. I don't feel like I'm breathing exactly. It's not like in choking or suffocating, just not breathing. Were am I? What happened? why am I in pain again? Well that's obvious, either Justin or dad no doubt. Am I sleeping? Did they finally beat me to death? Is that were I am, dead? If it is it sucks.

I strain my mind to remember why I'm like this. At first I see Jays face, he's crying. Then I see dad and I remember all he did to me. But Jay was there right? He came back for me I swear, god please tell me it wasn't a dream. Did he really come back? I see flash's of him. He's crying and begging but I can't understand what he's saying, his lips are moving but I cant hear it. I want to know what hes saying, I have to know what happened!

Suddenly the darkness because suffocating, I feel like it closing around me and trapping me in like a prison. I panic feeling incredibly claustrophobic. I have to get out! Come on stupid mind let me out!! I calm to conclusion I'm in some sort of sleep or something, so all I have to do is wake up right? Easy enough.

It's not easy.

Eventually I just want to scream and shout out my frustration until my throat burns, but even that I cant do. After what feels like and eternity my eye finally slip open to the burning light. There's a steady beeping sound that I can't pinpoint and I have a mask on my face, why do I have and oxygen mask on my face?

AND WHY DOES MY THROAT FEEL LIKE IT WAS RIPPED APART!!!

Everything feels foreign.

The room is foreign.

The strange feeling of lightness is foreign.

I look down at my hands and I see Jay, hes laying on my bed holding my hand. But the hands is rapped in white bandages around the wrist, the skin a strange ale colour.

My hand is foreign. It isn't mine.

The body feels foreign, like I'm trapped in someone else's body.

The skin, the heart, the pain, the air.

It's not mine.

It's not mine.

It's not me.

The weight on the bed moves, jay is up on his feet beside me in a an instant. He's staring at me, he's saying something. I cant hear it. It's drowned out, like I'm under water. Then i realise that I can breath, its stuck, theres a mask on my face but it feels like theres no air.

No air.

No space.

No life.

Jay is shouting, I can tell. He's holding my face in his hands, he's shouting but I still can hear. My skin tingles, then it burns. Everywhere burns, everywhere they touched burns. I can't get out, I need to get out, I need the skin to get off me, I need to breath.

But I can't.

I don't know what I'm doing, this body that isn't mine is moving and thrashing. It's scratching my skin, its trying to get their hands off me, trying to get them off me. Theres more people in the room now. To many people in the room. My chest hurts from how hard my heart is thumping. And I don't understand. I don't understand anything. I don't know what happening, what I'm doing, where I am, who these people are. I don't understand and I cant think. Because I'm trying and trying but its to hard, I can think, its like a fog and I'm trying to see whats in it but its too thick, too white, too blurred.