Loving The Lost

Chapter 24

SURPRISE BITCHES!!!!! Cathrin's(Jays mom) POV:

My heart pounds against my chest as my finger shakes over the trigger of the shotgun situated against the shoulder. Martin lets out a shriek of pain as he dropped to the floor, dropping the gun his hands fly to his right leg as it bled out profusely. I don't even feel shocked, or regret or guilt....I feel calm.

Dropping the gin from my shoulder and sprint over to my two trembling children as they tend there like a dear fought in head lights.

"Get in the car! Get in now I'll drive."I order as the snap out or their trance and rush to the doors with out a word. Lily jumps on the passenger seat and Jay goes to the back, but he stops before he gets in. I see the pain in this eyes rip through me, the tears that stream down his face as he stares into the car, stares at Asher. The small boy lays so still with his eyes barely open, barely breathing. He was drowning in a large blue jumper as red splotches seeped through. Theres blood everywhere, his face, his hair everything.

"Hey no, no Asher you have to stay a-away okay? Please baby I'm right here.....I-I'm right here I promise."I watched as my son broken voice escapes his lips as he gently lifts the boy up and lays his head in his lap, then I see it. I see how broken my baby boy is, refused to nothing as he sobs and begs for the boy in his lap. Ive never seen him this hurt, I'm his mother and I've never seen his this broken. He's suffering just as much as Asher is. Because he loves him.

Guilt eats me inside like never before, guilt and pain for my Jay. But it soon turned to rage, a steering rage I have never felt before as it festers inside my heart. Turning on my heels, Alans shotgun firmly in my grasp I storm to the withering body that lay on the concrete floor in his own blood.

"why?"I rasp out the rage so suffocating I feel like I'm going to burst. His eyes shoot up to me and I realise, this it not Martin. This is not the Martin who chose his family and Lila over everything he had, not the Martin who turned from a cold hearted gang member to a soft caring man for Lila, who risked everything, lost everything for his family.

"He took everything from me! He took Lila, he took my son. He ruined my life because he decided to be a fucking selfish, disgusting faggot bitch!!!"He sneered out, and then something in my clicked.

"He killed them?"I scoff through the burning eyes as tears threaten to spill over.

"Oh no.... you killed them! Your the reason she was out at sea in the first place, because you turned your back or you son like he was nothing. And guess what! SHE CHOES HIM OVER YOU!!. YOU KILLED HER AND THEN YOU KILLED HER SON!!!"my throat had gone raw within the second as it burned agains my emotions, against me. But I don't care, I wouldn't care if I was dying on the spot and burning to a crisp, he has to pay.

"Asher didn't mention Zak once to me, so I went and searched it up for myself, and do you know what I found? DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I FUCKING FOUND!!!."the tase of salt entered my mouth from my tears. "Cause of death, overdoes."I calmly state, my voice held pain and malice though.

"so tell me Martin, who gave him the drugs? Where did he get them from?...WHO KILLED HIM!!"I shrieked into his face, but he didn't reply. I could see the pain and guilt in his eyes as he stared at me. He regretted it, I could see that. But I wanted him to suffer.

"I came back to this shit hole town because Alan made me promise....he made me promise to come back and fix his mistakes. I work a 9-5 job even though I have the money already, to pay each and every family he hurt. To pay for every life he took. What did you do? While he went to serve the country and spent his life making up for what he did. What did you do with Lila's reputation? You destroyed it.