Love Mattheo, your greatest love.

How are you here?

As I stare at him in disbelief, I as though I'm going to faint or be sick. "How are you here John?" I ask, voice wavering. "Well if you really want to know how about we go in the other room and I'll tell you all about it. You look even prettier than the last time I saw you." He smirks evilly and then steps forward reaching for my arm.

Flinching, I whimper and stumble back. Fortunately Theo was there to stable me.

Theo steps in front of me, almost like he's guarding me "I think you better stay back mate. Seems like she doesn't want you here." He says. John steps forward looking up at Theo with a threatening stare. "Well mate, she can make that decision for herself. Cant you Y/n?" He says eyeing me.

"John-" I say my voice breaking. "You need to leave." "Your such a little bitch. I need you to come with me now." "I'm fucking warning you step the hell back." Theo's jaw clenched, his face grows cold. Then red. It's a scary sight to see. "What are you gonna do about it now that you're her little bitch?" And Mattheo lunges forward, tackling him to the ground. Punching him over and over while I stare.

I don't want Mattheo to stop. But I need my answers as to why he isn't dead. I killed him, or so I thought. I used the unforgivable curse, so why isn't he dead?

I lean down where Mattheo is "Mattheo, Mattheo please, I need you to stop." But he doesn't he just keeps hitting. "Mattheo please." I say and place a hand on his shoulder. And he stops. But he doesn't look at me. He stands up, over the man on the floor. Staring at the blood he caused the man. I slowly stand up next to him. Looking down at John. When I look up everyone is staring at us and right then, is when I feel the uneasy felling in my stomach about to come up. I apparate to the toilet in the bathroom on the third floor, immediately vomiting.

I kept vomiting until there is nothing coming up anymore.

I finally finish and lay on the floor, thinking about this whole night.

He was the reason.

He is the reason I became what I am today.

He is the reason I torture with no mercy.

He is the reason I tried to kill myself 3 years ago.

He is the reason I barely feel anymore.

He is the reason I still cut to this day.

And he is the reason I am useless and worth nothing.

He is the reason.

When I think back to that night I feel ill again. It was the day of my 14th birthday. We were having a party here at the manner. Back when I loved my birthday.

Three years ago

"Y/n are you ready?" Mumsy yells from the corridor. "Yes I'll be out in a second." I put on my green satin dress and make my way to the ball room. Every year on my birthday, the Malfoy's threw me a party. I guess to make up for the years my parents didn't throw one. But it was also good for them because they could invite all their Pureblood friends that they haven't talked to in a few weeks. But I guess that means that they would bring their Pureblood kids.

I make my way to the ballroom and everyone says "Hi" or "Happy birthday". I make my way over to my friends and wrap an arm around Draco. "Happy birthday" Tavia says and kisses my cheek. "Thank you, love." I smile. "Here" she says and passes me a small box. "We all pitched in and bought you something." I take the box in my hand and look up at all of them. "Guys you didn't have to you all know that it means more for y'all to actually be here other than a gift." "We know. But we still wanted to get you something. I mean it is your birthday and you're our best friend. You're always here for us no matter what. You help us all. You're a good friend y/n and we love you. So you deserves to have something nice so we got you this." Lorenzo says. I smile up at him and open the small box.