Love Mattheo, your greatest love.

Our love

Y/N's POV

I woke up the next morning to Mattheo's soft snores beside of me. I glanced over at him. His face was always so calm and relaxed as he slept. No intimidating eyes, or furrowed brows, just a calm, beautiful face.

I know he still feels like it's his fault but it's not, it is no ones fault. We were just careless. I've heard Draco and Mattheo talking, they think that the cabinet will be finished in less than a week. that means that the war will be close to starting. We will have to assassinate Dumbledore and my parents.

We could die in this war, there is no telling how long we have left. We could live through it and have the life we all want or we could die. Either way we don't know how long we have together. I want to make the best out of it.

Ever since I got raped and tortured I haven't been the same. Especially around people. But Mattheo always finds a way to make me feel safe.

Fuck I love him.

I want to have sex at least one more time before we leave, there is no telling when the next time will be so I want to, but I'm so fucking scared. I don't want to get flashbacks, I don't want it to be traumatizing, and I don't want to be in pain. But I want it. I want it with him. I know he would stop the second I told him to, I know he would make me feel comfortable.

I don't know if I'm fully ready but I need to feel our body's connect again, the way they once did. I want to make love with him. I love him and I want to do this.

"Good morning" I hear him say from beside of me. I turn my head to find Mattheo already starring at me.

I smile softly.

"What were you thinking about?" He questions with a grin on his face. He starts to sit up, his bare chest grazing up against my arm. His hand finds its way to my stomach, lifting up the shirt a little. He starts to brush his fingertips against the skin, looking up at me.

"You" I whisper.

"I think I'm ready." I say. His brows furrow in confusion.

"For?"

"I want to make love with you Mattheo. The war is coming soon and we might not have to much longer with each-" his hand stops moving and he sits up more.

"Stop" he cuts me off.

"Don't say that. We will be okay."

"You don't know that Mattheo." I mumble.

He sighs, removing his hand from my skin. He sits up all the way, leaning forward into his hands. He runs his hands over his face, sighing.

The covers are sitting on his lap now, his back visible. I reach forward running my hands softly down his back. He slowly looks over to me with sad eyes.

Leaning forward, I place my lips to his neck, kissing softly up the skin.

"I want to make love Mattheo, I'm ready." I whisper in his ear.

"Y/n we can't. Not with what happened. We should wait longer."

"But what I'm saying to you is that we might not have longer." I raise my voice a little.

"And what I'm saying is that we should wait, you're not ready. I don't think we should. If something reoccurs while we have sex I don't want that to be my fault because I was too impatient to wait. So we shouldn't."

"Do you not want me anymore?" My voice breaks.

He leans forward, hands connecting with my face.

"Of course I do but I don't want you to go through that again. It's only been a few weeks."

"But it wouldn't be going through it again. He was rough with me, not gentle. I want to make love Mattheo not fuck. And I want to do it with you so it's completely different."

"I don't know y/n I-"

"I get it if you don't want to and if that's the case I'll stop asking, but if it's not then please understand when I say this...I am ready." I say.

He leans forward slowly, lips interlocking with mine. His hand moves to my shirt, tugging at the hem. I raise my arms slightly. He pulls the shirt off along with his.

He gently pushes me down on the bed, kissing steadily down my stomach.

He places his fingertips on the waistband of my shorts, looking up to me for permission.

I nod.

He takes his time sliding the material down my legs, looking up again when he comes to my underwear.

I smile slightly at his nervousness, nodding again without hesitance.

He slides the fabric down my thighs, caressing my legs.

He leads kisses up to my clit, placing a gentle open-mouthed kiss to the sensitive bud.

Mattheo's taking his time with me, making sure to kiss and touch every part of my body. Telling me that he loves me and that he will always protect me.

His lips finally come back to mine.

We kiss for a few more minutes before he pulls his trousers and boxers down.

Hands gliding up my skin, he places the tip at my entrance.

"Are you sure?" He whispers.

"Yes, I'm sure."

He nods, burring his head into my neck, shifting himself into me.

He's going at a slow and steady pace.

I place my hands at the back of his head, making him look up at me. My eyes meet with those beautiful brown ones, instantly softening at his face.

There are tears rolling down his cheek.

My eyes immediately water, and I feel a few tears of my own fall too.

"I'm so fucking sorry they did that to you. I f-feel so guilty." He cries.

"I know my love, I know"

He is still pumping into me slowly as he leans down, pecking my lips.

"I love you so much Mattheo." I whisper, voice cracking at the end.

"I love you more." He squeaks into my neck.

"I can't wait to bear your children and wake up every morning to you." I whisper in his ear.

His crying increases, picking his head up, he places one more deep kiss on my lips. This kiss felt so magical, deepening my feelings towards him. This kiss was our most meaningful kiss yet. It said so many things that no words could describe. No words could describe the way we feel about each other. Our love was infinite. For how ever long we lived our love for one another would last forever.