This chaper may possibly be triggering. Thou has been warned.
The warm water stopped running on my body as I stepped out of the shower and onto the cold, tiled floor. The water from my hair dripping down my bare back, sending chills throughout my entire body. I went to grab my towel, but for some reason my reflection in my mirror caught my attention.
I leaned in and looked closely at my face, little scars and scabs litered across my scalp and forehead. I felt my hand move across the tiny bumps beggining to form, the tiny blackheads hiding in my pores. My hand itched, and I let it do what it wanted.
I started to scratch away at a small blemish on my face, not moving that much. Then it started.
I began to dig at it, roughly and quickly, irritating my skin and causing me pain until it was gone and replaced with blood. I backed up and looked at my arms and shoulders as well. The raw spots and scabs itched my hand, almost like pressure building up that wouldn't release until they were gone.
I picked at everything, things that were already there, the small, tiny bumps along my shoulder, everything till there was nothing left. Everything except blood.
But I wasn't happy. I wasn't proud. I cringed at the stinging, I cringed at myself. How could I let myself go so far? Why couldn't I stop myself?
Then I looked back to the mirror. The small spots of red dripping down my arm. I looked past those to my scars, the ones that healed. It looked aweful, completely ugly and out of order. My arms were covered, no way of getting around it. No way of hiding them.
I hated them. I only wanted normal skin, is that too much to ask?
I felt tears fall down my cheeks and my eyes explored my reflection, almost completely mistakes. I was overwight, I was covered in disgusting scars no one would love, I was just ugly. Pathetic. The freak who couldn't stop picking. No one could love this...
I tried to push the thoughts aside as I took a tissue to them and put bandaids over them all, almost using an entire box. Sleep tugged on my eyes and I wondered out of the bathroom and into my bedroom, falling onto my bed.
A single tear escaped from my eye and made it's way to my pillow. It seemed almost in slow motion, everything went almost completely still. The tear trickled off my cheek and gently fell to the pillow, then crashed and soaked into the fabric. I heard the front door whoosh open and slam into the wall.
The entire trailer shook with stomps getting louder and louder. Fear was flooding through my entire body, knowing who it was. The stomps stopped and I heared heavy breathing coming from outside my door. Then it flung open, the doorknob coliding with my wall and making a hole in it.
Dad.
"YOU SPOILED BITCH!" rang in my ears. I flinched at his voice and my pupils shrunk in fear.
He flicked on the lights and lunged at my feet, taking them and flinging me to the floor. The rug burned my skin as I yelped in pain.
"WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR PHONE?" He screamed at me in rage. My body was frozen stiff with fear, I couldn't move.
He bent over and grabbed a handful of hair and dragged me up to my feet. "NOW!" He shouted in my face, spit flying everywhere. I scrambled like an idiot to my nightstand and attempted to give him my phone. "Check your messages." He mumbled angerly.
I unlocked my phone and saw two texts.
Dad : I need you to do my laundry
Dad : Are you going to answer?
Those from were 20 minuets ago, I was still in the bathroom at that time.
"I-I'm sorry dad..." I managed to squeek.
"BULLSHIT!" He screamed in my face. He snatched my phone out of my hand and chucked it at the wall. I watched it shatter into peices.
"I payed for that myself!" I let the words slip out of my mouth.
Mistake one.
He turned around and slapped the side of my head with enough force to knock someone out, but I stayed consious. I yelped in pain as tears started to leak out once again.
"STAND UP YOU BRAT!"
I wimply made an attempt to stand and had my hands ready to block another strike. He smacked my hands down and slapped my face even harder. Then he grabbed my neck and pushed my against the wall. I couldn't breath.
"Listen here..." he whispered in rage, "everything in this house is mine. I don't give a shit who pays for it."
"I-I'm sorry daddy, I l-love you..." I coughed between gulps of air and choked on tears.
"If you even loved me you would do this shit without me," he raised his hand, "EVEN HAVING TO ASK!" His fist met my face.
* Le end of dream *
My body jerked up instantly, my eyes wide open. My body was sweating like crazy. Beside me was Clementine staring at me like I was mentaly insane.
My body relaxed a bit at her sight, knowing my dream wasn't my current reality. Not that it never happeded. She gently put her hand onto my sholder. "Hey, are you okaiis?"
I closed my eyes and nodded. I hated when my mind liked to play tricks on me. I was finally getting to be happy, but that can never happen for me. I was stupid for thinking like that. I would never be happy, and that was a harsh fact I relented with every fiber in my body. It's like they say, you can run but you can't hide.
"Ehemenebe"
"Hm?" I questioned my friend.
"Fo-ooood" she whined and pointed at the clock on her tv stand. It was already two in the afternoon.
"Food!" I called as I shot my arm into the air and ran twords the kitchen.
"Yush!" she called and ran after me.
A/N : Sorry peeps for cutting this one short again. Hope you still liked it tho <3
