Time To Fuck Up The Timeline

Random Shit

Song Title: ET Katy Perry without Kayne

Nothing in this chapter has anything to do with the plot. Whatever happens in this chapter, stays in this chapter. Also, it won't make much sense. It's just an odd chapter.

   Shikamaru was training with his team. They were doing one of the simpler Ino-Shika-Cho formations. The things he could do in his sleep.  Actually, he was doing them in his sleep. What? He was tired, and it was a drag. Unfortunately, he got woken up by screaming.

   "You little fucker! You think you can fucking blow people up like that, you little bitch ass Nara?! I'll get my revenge shit head?" You may have already guessed who said this. Yes, it was Hidan who said it while running at team Asuma. Shikamaru caught him in a shadow possession jutsu.

"You know him, Shikamaru?" Asuma asked.

"His name's Hidan, a member of the Akatsuki. He's immortal, but you can still get rid of him." Shikamaru stated.

"You fucking brat! You won't blow me up that fucking easily, asshole!" Hidan screamed.

"I did it once, I can do it again." Shikamaru threatened.

"I killed your sensei once, and I'll do it again." Hidan broke free of the shadow. He went to attack, but a tornado stopped him, and carried him away, never to be seen again.

"Crybaby, always needing saved." Temari smirked while leaning on her closed fan.

"Tch, troublesome woman."

"When did you two hook up?!" Ino asked.

   "More importantly, how did you know him, Shikamaru?" Asuma asked. Not knowing what to say, Shikamaru lied.

   "I-I'm not Shikamaru. I'm somebody else." I never said it was a good lie. He then turned in to his "real" body. It was pretty much Temari as a dude with Nara hairstyle.

   Realizing how that wasn't the smartest move, he ran. A lot faster than Asuma expected, so Shikamaru lost him. Temari was able to keep up with him though.

   "Really? That was the best you could come up with?" Temari laughed.

   "I panicked."

———

Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto were all drinking in a bar. They made themselves look like adults so they could actually drink alcohol. They tried not  to get too drunk. They learned from last time that their twelve year old bodies couldn't hold the usual amount of liquor.

None of them were too drunk. Scratch that, Naruto was pretty drunk. He couldn't hold his liquor even in his adult body, so it was worse in his child body. He knew that, but he didn't want to drink less than Sasuke, so he kept even with him. Sasuke realized this, and made sure to order enough drinks to make Naruto extra drunk, but him slightly drunk.

"I've got a question for you two." Naruto slurred.

"Hn." Naruto took it as a "go on" in Uchiha.

"When you guys have a-a... what's the word... small adult-"

"Child." Sakura offered.

"A child again, will she summon snakes or slugs? Boruto's obviously going to summon toads, but who will your kid summon?"

"Obviously snakes/clearly slugs." Sasuke and Sakura said at the same time. They glared at each other. Neither was going to back down.

   "Hmmm... you guys don't seem to be agreeing on this. Let's see... slugs or snakes... uh... I got it! She'll summon snugs. Snakes and slugs." Even though Naruto just had the best idea ever, they weren't listening to him.

   "Snakes." Sasuke glared.

   "Slugs!" Sakura slammed her hand on the bar, breaking it.

   "Hey, take it outside!" The bartender ordered.

   They took it outside, but it didn't matter. The shop got destroyed anyway. During their argument, things got a little heated. It ended with both their summons being summoned, destroying several buildings, and Sasuke had his Susano'o out while Sakura had her hundred sealing jutsu activated. Naruto just passed out, never knowing what he caused.

———

Rasa knew he was a shitty father. He was never around for Temari and Kankuro, and when he was with them, it was like he wasn't. As for Gaara... well, he knew that was his biggest mistake as a father, but a logical choice as the Kazekage.

It's been a few years since Gaara lost control. He's been sleeping a lot better, and has been much happier. He heard his kids talking about Gaara being happy. He made friends with that leaf Jinchūriki. According to Gaara, jinchūrikis can communicate to each other through their tailed beast. Anyway, Rasa wanted to try to be a decent father, and connect with Gaara.

Rasa knocked on Gaara's door. Maybe he'd get a conversation or two in with his son along with an apology.

   "Come in." Rasa entered to see Gaara on his bed playing with his sand.

   "Hello, Gaara."

   "Father, what are you doing here?"

   "I just wanted to talk to you. It's been a while since we've talked."

   "A while? Have we ever spoken to one another?"

   "I... guess not."

   "We could start." Gaara motioned for Rasa to sit next to him.

They sat there in awkward silence until Rasa decided to say something. He remembered hearing a small conversation about Gaara being in love. He didn't catch a name, (or gender) so why not ask.

"I heard you met someone in Konoha. Someone you like... a lot." Gaara's face reddened as he quickly hid his face in his hands. "So who's the girl-"

"Guy." Gaara corrected.

"Guy?"

"Father, I'm Gaaaaayyy!!!" Gaara threw his hands up and ran out leaving a stunned Rasa.

Was Rasa shocked that Gaara was gay? Not really. Gaara had never shown much interest in girls, but that didn't automatically mean he was gay. Still, Rasa had his suspicions. What he was confused about, was the fact that Gaara just ran out, rather dramatically, screaming at the top of his lungs. Gaara never struck Rasa as the type to show much emotion. Probably... definitely his fault.

"What was that about?" Kankuro walked in.

"I was just talking to your brother. Where's Temari? I haven't seen her in a few days."

"She's been with her boyfriend all week. They rarely leave each other's side, but just wait until she has to leave Konoha."

"Damn those leaf brats. Taking away my kids."

"You still have me."

"You're my favorite kid, Kankuro."

"I know."

———

I'm not really sure what that chapter was, but I wrote it. I'm also probably not going to be updating often. I don't have much time to myself anymore. I've been extremely busy lately, and I don't see my schedule getting any lighter soon. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.