Blind Instincts

Chapter Six

Author's Note: have you guys ever tried to describe a colour without using the name? Oh my gosh, it's so hard!!! Anyway, enjoy the new chapter :)

~•~

"As I was saying. . ." He continues, ignoring my dejected state, as if it meant nothing. It doesn't matter, though, I am in complete submission to him as he stands over me.

"This will be your room. You will live here 24/7, and you won't tell a soul about your being my mate. . ." His words are strict and curt. He bends down to my level on the floor, lightly yet firmly graping my shoulder, in a display of dominance. "Do you understand me?" The skin to skin contact sends swirls of electric bliss through my body, his hot breath against my pale face. Despite this, my mind still seethes with fear and anger.

I nod forcefully, to which he drops me and walks away. I'm left alone on the floor between the bathroom and bedroom.

I stay in the same position for what feels like hours. I sit against the doorframe, thinking about what just happened. I'm going to live. In fact, I'm going to live in a completely foreign pack to the one I grew up in.

My mind is wrung trying to accept what is happening, wondering, still, why I am here. Am I wanted here? An I forced to be here? Nothing is making sense. Especially not the fact Alpha Alaric claims I am his mate, which I cannot believe yet, though. I can't explain the way his proximity makes me feel.

I'm stuck in a room in a pack I know only rumours about. I now live under the law of the worst alpha I know of. But I do have a bathroom. This can't be worth it.

I stand after a while, figuring that I'm alone, and I explore during this time. Beginning at the bathroom door, I work my way along the wall, using my hands. I bump into something that seems to be a wardrobe. I ignore it for now, continuing to work my way around the room. My hand grazes over another door. I pat the surface feverishly, trying to find the handle that'll lead me away. I do, and twist it open, followed by a gust of wind. The threshold of the door comes with a cold chill, leading me outside. A decently sized deck or balcony grants me the ability to spend time in the sun. It's rays beat down on my face, warming the surface of my skin, against the crisp air. It reminds me of the times I was allowed in the backyard back at home.

I re-enter the room, being sure the balcony doors are shut. I make note of the distance between the bathroom and the balcony, simply about three meters in length. Circling around the room, I find nothing else. It's empty and open, with nothing to do aside from sitting and keeping to my thoughts.

Life gets boring after hours of existing in the position I'm in. Sitting on an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room, I begin to feel restless. An uneasiness takes residence in the pit of my stomach, making my nerves act irrationally. Still, I sit. I sit for hours and wait for something to happen, which nothing ever does. Eventually, I scooted from a sitting position to a laying position, squeezing my body into a ball until I dozed off into oblivion.

~•~

A knock on wood makes me stir in my sleep, gently wanning me back into reality. Becoming aware of my surroundings, I had to relive the last 48 hours all over again.

The door creaked open, the prior woman peeking inside. She set up a tray of food for me, explaining the meal of today's morning. I thank her, but she does not leave.

"Would you like me to stay?" She asked, as if she would be delighted to. Fear of saying no mixed with the guilt that would come along with it, coaxed me into agreeing to eat with her. I only nodded. She retrieved a second plate for herself and we ate in silence. Admittedly, the food I was given was very tasteful; the bacon, especially.

"What's your name?" I ask, stumbling over my words. I want to find out as much about this person as I can, while still being too nervous to do so. She seems happy that I've inquired her, despite me only doing it in fear. She keenly replied back, "Alina". I've never heard such a pretty name.

Not too long after, Alina leaves me to my own devices, once again.

~•~

A few days have passed since I first arrived at the Sanguis pack. Each day is the same. I'm woken by Alina with breakfast, sometimes we eat together, sometimes not. She comes in at dinner, and then again at supper. We eat together at least once a day, sometimes she just visits to keep me company. She tells me about the pack here and there, but we mostly sit in silence. It becomes a relief to have somebody I know here.

"Dinner time," she states audibly as she enters the room. "A clubhouse for today." And so she sits next to me, two plates in hand. I now consider Alina to be my friend, one of the only friends I have ever had.

When I was young, about 10 years old, I had a friend named Freya. She was nice to me, considering my condition. We played outside, played with dolls, and had blindfolded races. One day she just never came back. Now, Alina and I sit next to each other while we eat. She asks me why I stay here and what I do. She is patient with me, always asking things that I almost never respond to. I don't think she minds my quietness, she talks to me anyway. This question, though, puzzles me. "you're not ill, you're able-bodied, and you have a lot to experience in this pack. I'm sorry for asking, but why not just go out and experience some things?"

Her words resonate with me. I'm not ill, I am able-bodied, and I have experienced nothing but bad memories my whole life. I want to tell her I can't leave, even if the Alpha said I can, my stomach would bubble and my lungs would refuse to cooperate, the fear of being somewhere unsure seems worse than staying in this prison of a room.

"You won't tell a soul about your being my mate." it stops me from saying anything further. If I overstep a boundary, the Alpha can eliminate me without a second thought.

~•~

The day is long and boring. Something sad comes with it, a feeling of loneliness. I haven't had many people in my life, therefore I'm not accustomed to feeling lonely. How can you miss something you've never had.

I will myself out of bed, having memorized the layout of the room by now. This being my second time on the balcony since day 1, I sit in the uncomfortable chair set outside for me. The unfamiliar sounds of the Sanguis pack engulf me, luring me closer to edge.

There isn't much to hear, as I'm positioned above the garden, or so I'm told. A lone worker humming to himself quietly as he digs up soil. His pronged trowel, prone to loud scraping of the dirt, it drowns out his soft melodies. Tunes of songbirds play among the rustling of leaves in the wind. Their twitting back and forth molds into each other, forming a perfect symphony. They finish their song and fly away.

The gardener stopped working, though his melodic carols continue. Louder this time, he croons in a soft tune, making my stomach swoon at its beauty.

I push my chair closer, as close as it can get to the edge, so I can listen carefully to the seedsman. I close my eyes, dipping my head back to allow the music into my body. Smooth lows and hoarse highs, I wonder if he heard this song from somewhere else before, or if he made it himself.

This time I stand, wanting to be closer, or to hear better. I lean as far as I can into the open space, feeling the mellow breeze encase the upper half of my body. I glide myself further into the abyss, I could be flying right now and I wouldn't know the difference. It's working and the humming gets louder, closer.

This doesn't stop me, I want to be even closer. I want to be right next to it. As far as I can, I reach my body over the railing further, and it works as I can hear him much louder. I have never heard such a beautiful tune, or many songs at all. I go further and further and I feel as though I'm flying, the wind around me pummeling through the sky, moving out of the way so I can soar. The summing stops, and a yell pierces my ears, not even a second passes and I feel my body collide with the ground. I feel nothing but the impact of my body hitting the solid ground, the music stops and I hear a voice bustling at my side. I don't care for it, I only wanted to hear the music.

I stop trying to pull my body off the ground, my body is too weak, or perhaps gravity is too strong. My head tops into the soft grass and my consciousness fades.

~

Word Count: 1603