Blind Instincts

Chapter Twenty-Three

~Monet's POV~

He sits on the other side of the cell, peering in at me through the bars. Some say that mates can feel the gaze of their partner, and well, I wouldn't say it's a lie. My lips feel fuzzy as I lick them, my eyes a mess of tingles as I blink the dryness away.

Just like yesterday, he came down to the jail to visit me. This time, unlike the other times, he's being sweet to me. He started off cold and distant, but as time passed, he lowered down to the floor. His demeanor is ironic, considering he's the reason I am down here.

It's been quiet for awhile and I can't help but think about the dilapitated rocks of the cliff bottom. I thought about his behaviour then, and how he kindly made himself known, then sat and told me a story from his childhood. It felt good to hear him sound so sincere and personal, and I wonder how often he's like that.

Thinking about it made me want to know more about my mate, even if I have already made up my mind about leaving. It would kill me to leave without knowing the truth, and I'm not sure I'm ready to leave this possibility behind until I find it.

"How are you, alpha?" I ask in a stray of sympathy and curiosity. I can't keep my stomach from bubbling in anticipation as I await his answer. I expect him to give a brief, casual answer, though I'm met with neither.

"I'm not your alpha, I'm your mate." He says so low it sounds almost painful, and I know from that alone that he's already fallen for the bond. And it hurts me to say, but I have been suppressing the feelings so much that I can hardly say I feel the same. Though, nobody can deny that his next words make the bond hit me square in the face.

"And you can call me Alec." He murmurs as if he told me his deepest insecurity, and it makes me frown. It's not even what he says that makes feel it, it's the time of his voice. A shy, sad whisper. I try not to let it make me feel any different, his attempts at being kind only bothering me slightly. But I know we are not equals, he is an Alpha and I do not compare.

The bond makes me yearn to hear his voice just once more before he departs, but the sensible part of my brain doesn't care about anything he has to say. Nothing will make me want him now, only the superficial mate bond attracts me to him. If it weren't for that, we would have never crossed paths, and we would both be better for it.

Maybe I would be on his side, had he only treated me better. Since being here, this cell, deprived of sunlight, I have only hate for the Alpha of the Sanguine pack. He can't keep me in here forever, I don't believe he wants to.

It's been another while of neither of us saying anything, awkwardness blanketing the air. Moved from a crouching position to a sitting one, and that's how we've been for probably an hour. Doesn't he have Alpha things to do? Maybe he wants company.

He must've seen the thought etched into my face, because he begins to talk again.

"You look uncomfortable," he stated, like I'd be comfortable anywhere near him.

"How could I be?" I forced out, louder and faster than I expected. It makes me frown again, I don't want to be impulsive. For now on, I answer with only calculated responses. I make sure to maintain formality, knowing how it frustrates him. If only he felt a fraction of what he made me feel.

"I didn't want this, Monet." He says just above a whisper. His gaze droned over my body, starting at my legs, to my torso, arms, shoulders, collarbone, neck. . .

The only way I can describe the feeling, is like sunlight through a magnifying glass. The heat traces along your body, leaving gentle kisses of tingles in its absence. He must know what he's doing.