Blind Instincts

Chapter Eight

~•~

"Alina?" I say, without hesitation. She replied with an "mhm?", but I'm nervous to ask about what's been on my mind. We sit for a few anxious minutes before I decide to say anything else.

"Does the alpha have a Luna?" It's difficult to contain the weird emotion that has been making my stomach bubble for the past couple of days.

"Not yet," she says, but I can tell there's more. "He found his mate a few months ago, but they haven't marked each other yet. So, technically she isn't Luna yet." Her words awe me. He found his mate months ago? I feel a pit fall in my stomach, which annoyed me further. I don't care about Alpha Alaric, and I'm still not even sure if I was his mate in the first place. Her words cut right through me, though I know they shouldn't. I feel jealous over something I don't even want. I know he would never be a good mate, and I don't want him as one. But that doesn't stop the twinge of the mate bond that blooms jealousy and other feelings deep in the back of my mind.

Soon after, she leaves me to sift through all of my concerns alone. She doesn't know anything about me or my mate. I decide to ignore everything that has happened up to now and continue to grow more independent. Without knowing, Alina's friendship has helped me tremendously to do already.

I will myself to a peaceful sleep, forgetting just about everything that displeased me. Almost everything.

~•~

Alina, as per usual, wakes me up for breakfast. She says she can't eat with me this morning, but she'll be back later to keep me company. I agree, planning to get out of this room the moment she's back.

I feel around my plate, forking in food every once in a while. Today, breakfast is a mouth watering meal of pancakes and fruit. I assess my body, grateful that I'm gaining weight because of my new diet.

Once I finish, I push the plate aside, making my way around the room, to find the balcony. This time I'm hesitant to sit close to the edge, due to the incident which led to my injuries. I sit, feeling tranquillity from being surrounded by the freezing wind. It howls through the trees, looping itself around the branches, around me, stealing my thoughts away.

This time, I don't get intrigued by anything specific, I just feel. I feel the kiss of sunlight warm my cheeks, as it breaks through the thick layer of cumulonimbus clouds, every so often. I feel the chilling breeze against my scalp, blowing my hair to the front of my face. I feel my feet against the concrete terrace floor, how they almost freeze to the surface.

I imagine the sound of the wind chimes from my home, from their spot hung from the overhang, in the backyard. I hear their clinks and their lingering melody in the wind. The only real serene moments I can remember have those chimes in the background, an omen of peace.

I wish I had them with me to make this moment official. I would stand up and dance along with the wind, as it forces music through the chimes, but I don't, and all I have left is the memory of the chimes far, far in the distance. A shout pulls me from my deep connection with the earth.

"What do you think you are doing out here?" Another shout. Their voice is dragged away from me by the wind, their sound unrecognizable.

"M-me?" I quietly question into the air.

"Yes, Monet! You cannot be out here again." This time, I know whose voice it is. Their wrathful tone is embedded into my mind. I realize they are also outside, on a balcony, probably the same level as mine. It's far away, at the end of the building. Today he is angry, which strikes a fear in me and I pull my legs to my chest tight.

"Stay exactly where you are." They shout one last time, before disappearing. Mere seconds later, a body comes barreling into my room, out onto the balcony, and abruptly grabs my clothed arm.

"I thought I told you never to do anything dangerous again." He seethes, growing angrier as I shake my head no. He didn't say that, in fact, he barely spoke a word to me since the time I've been forced to live in his estate.

"How do you think I feel when I come outside to see you on another ledge? You're lucky I decided to use my terrace for once, or else you'd likely be dead." He shouts even louder this time, his grip over my fragile arm tightening. I thought he was done being angry and rude. I thought he would leave me alone.

You'd probably feel good if you saw me dead, I want to say. You and your Luna would want that.

I almost gasp at the thoughts racing into my mind, not feeling like they're my own. As if another mind was inside of me, forcing me to hear their own thought.

Nearly being enticed by the irrational thoughts to break out in a temperament, I force my mind off. I clear my head, thinking only for myself and in the moment.

I don't understand what the alpha wants me to say, so I keep quiet, which seems to upset him even more. He yanks on my arm, dragging me back into the room, away from the comforting cold breeze.

I hear him fumble around with something, a click, jingle, then it's gone. I realized he had just locked the balcony door with his keys. I'll never be allowed out there again.

I move into a saddened state, knowing I can't object to his actions. I stand there, unknowing of what to do now.

"You are not to go on another terrace again." His low voice next to my reddened face from the cold, sends hot air up my cheek.

"Yes, Alpha." I whisper with the hope he doesn't hear me, not wanting to anger him further.

I feel blessed when the door opens for a second time, ripping us out of this angry mess. I can tell it's Alina by her feminine steps, which stopped as she entered the threshold. She says nothing, yet her presence is known. The alpha let's his grip on my arm go, parading out of the room.

Word Count: 1090