Spitting petals |Discontinued|

[Chapter Ten]

we were riding in the back seat of the cab, as the driver drove us around silently, Nick turned to me "I guess thanks for coming with me dude!" I lowered my scarf and smiled "Don't mention it, after all, that's what friends do right?" I smiled as we drive down the underpass.

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the smell of firecrackers was almost being drowned out by the scent of flowers coming from inside me, it was floral yet it almost gives me the impression that it won't be long until I die from this. 

we walked around the entrance of the festival waiting for the others, I tapped Nick by his shoulders to get his attention, he turned to look at me with that innocent-like gaze of his I sighed and asked him "what would you do if someone you know confessed to you later?"

He titled his head and laughed as he looked at the flying kites in the sky, he cleared his throat "I mean, I'm already with Karl but if they did confess to me tonight" He looked at the floor and sighed "I don't know..."

I tried laughing it off, but I felt something got caught in my throat and started coughing up, Nick was obviously worried, "Dude are you okay?" he asked  "I coughed up more petals and heaved for air "y-yep of course, I just choked on something!" He was genuinely concerned but he decided not to look deeper into it.

Not a moment too soon the others already arrived at our meeting spot, Karl walked out of the car and Nick immediately walked up to him and, I felt something tightening inside my chest...

George noticed something was wrong, and even Darryl started to suspect something about me...

Darryl looked at the two and turned his glance towards me "Clay I love you let me hug you!" George was shocked that Darryl suddenly hugged me I was too, but his words felt like a cold knife running down my back, "you're hiding something aren't you"

"W-what?" He backed away from me and blurted out "Nothing!" he walked beside Zak and kept his eyes on me from time to time, Nick was with Karl and Zak was with Darryl naturally I went with George since I don't wanna be left alone...

I don't want to be... I never wanted to be someone who's just there... I wanted him to see me as someone he can be with... I sat at one of the benches coughing up when nobody was looking, George sat beside me with food in his hand "want some?" I nodded and grabbed a stick.

We ate silently then I said, "You won't forget about me right?" I looked at him with teary eyes, "where is this coming from you twat!" he said as tears started falling from his cheeks, "Of course I'll remember you! you're my best friend for fuck's sake! Clay!" He turned to me "why are you even willing to go all through that suffering for someone who won't even love you back?!"

I coughed up even more flowers as I felt the grip of the strands within me started tightening, inhaled deeply as I blow my breath into the sky turning into the sky, the smoke puffs out of my mouth and I turned my look back at George, "I've been through worse than this... I won't die just because some bee was lost in my lungs!" I tried making him laugh, He smiled "You're such an Idiot Clay..."

but then again, I wonder how long I can hold onto my life before I die from my own self-destruction

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the children were playing happily wearing their costumes and the such, I stared at my letter in my hand, I sighed and turned my look at George "I still want to do it... I will confess... my feelings" I gripped onto the letter tightly...

George nodded "I know you do... but won't this just worsen your condition?" I looked at the letter "It doesn't matter now..." George placed his hand over my shoulder "Why are you so desperate for this guy you've only known for just a month?!"