Shadows and Stars: A Darker Love ✔

Chapter Sixteen

I'm grateful that a busy, Monday working day has pulled me from the cringeworthy sight of my brother and Hailey interlinking their limbs with one another as they cuddle on the sofa back at home. As much as I'm happy that they're happy, there's only so many public displays of affection that I can bear to witness.

Danny and Michael have made sure to get in their jokes and teasing about my drunken state on Friday, but I'm thankful when I notice the teasing of others about the office who seemed to be in just as bad a state as I was. I laugh, because I love so much that this is the environment that I'm so lucky to be working in.

By the time 5.p.m hits, I've already exceeded my task list and deadlines for today, so I smile when I navigate through the glass hallways and down the large staircase to the lobby.

My stomach is grumbling, and with no wish to return home too soon, I decide to head back up the stairs and towards the I.T department.

I've never ventured this side of the huge, immaculate office. I've never needed to. But it's just as large—if not larger—than I expected. Rows of desks, computers and large windows fill the area, and although I haven't a clue where the I.T department is, I quickly find out when the sight of Anderson's curly hair sticks out from the top of one of the computer screens.

Smiling, I walk myself over, grateful that it seems most people have left—leaving a quiet office for Anderson and I to talk in.

     "Hey!" I say, peering over Anderson's shoulder when I reach his side. It looks like he's formatting some data in a spreadsheet.

He turns, completely unaware of my presence. When he sees me, his grey eyes widen and a grin grows from his plump lips. "Oh! Hey Mia!" He chimes, quickly standing from his chair and brushing his hand down the black shirt he wears today. "I didn't expect to see you here, how are you?"

     "I'm good," I say, leaning against the edge of his desk. "I—I just wondered if you wanted to maybe grab some dinner? I'm trying to avoid going home too soon." It occurs to me that Lucas is going home today, so he may have already left, but if I can avoid watching him and Hailey suck each other's faces off, then I'll take any chance I can get.

Anderson smiles, his eyes twinkling against the bright spotlights of the office. "Yeah, sure! Where do you fancy going?"

"Anywhere," I giggle.

Anderson powers down his computer, before throwing his denim jacket over his body and placing a hand on my shoulder to lead me out. "Sure, let's go."

The air is bitter when we step out, but when I spot a small Italian restaurant across the way, we both agree to go there for dinner.

"I came here once with my team at work. It was really good," Anderson says once we're shown to a small table next to a fireplace.

The small building smells exquisite, and my insides dance when we're each poured a glass of homemade lemonade.

"There's so many places in London," I laugh, taking a sip of the phenomenal flavoured drink. "It's like I don't know where to start, or which places are good and which aren't."

Anderson sips his drink, his small gold earring occasionally catching the light of the candle on the table. "It takes time. You just get the idea of different places the longer you spend living here."

"That's true," I say, smiling as I lean back into my seat.

Anderson's eyes watch me, and with each passing second it seems his smile grows stronger. I love being in his presence; he's friendly, supportive, charming and loving all rolled into one. On top of that, he makes me feel safe. I don't know what is is about him that makes me feel that way, but he does.

"So," Anderson breathes, flicking through the leather-bound menu that's placed in front of us. "Why are you avoiding going home?"

An involuntary grin grows from my lips; the thought of Hailey and Lucas with their hands all over each other entering my mind. "My best friend—and housemate—Hailey, is seeing my brother Lucas, and he's been staying for the last two nights."

"Say no more," Anderson chuckles, as if he can read my mind.

"Yeah...it can get a little awkward."

We laugh together, and once the waitress takes our orders we discuss work and our plans for Christmas.

"Will you be spending Christmas back at home?" Anderson asks once our food is served to us. I can practically feel my tastebuds pulsating at the sight of the tagliatelle in front of me.

"Yeah, I'll go home for a couple of days, and then come back here," I say, twirling my fork into the pasta. "Then me and Hailey will spend New Years together and go out. What about you?" I look up to Anderson, smiling as he pushes a forkful of risotto into his mouth.

He nods. "I usually go home for Christmas, yeah. Nothing planned for New Year's Eve though. Maybe a family game night." He laughs, taking another large sip of his lemonade.

"You should come out with us!" I exclaim, rubbing a napkin between my hands. "Hailey always finds the best places for a night out, so it's bound to be a good one. Please, come out with us."

Anderson looks to me, contemplating the offer, before grinning with appreciation. "Okay, sure. Sounds good."

It'll be nice to spend a night out with Anderson, and I'm glad we're starting to feel more like good friends with each minute that passes. Equally, if Hailey is going to be inviting Lucas, then I'll be grateful for Anderson's distraction from them both—God only knows how hands on they'll be with one another after they've got a few drinks down them.

I roll my eyes at the thought.

Once we finish our meals and share an ice cream sundae, we pay up and head back out into the unforgiving winds of London. Anderson instinctively wraps his arm around me as we head to the tube station, and in return I rest my head against his shoulder as the darkness of the night envelopes us in its arms.

"You're platform one, right?" Anderson asks as we head down the steps.

"Yeah, just over here." I point to the tunnel to the platform, stopping to bid Anderson a goodnight.

"Thanks for the invite to dinner," Anderson says once I face him, tucking a lock of my hair behind my ear. I quiver slightly at the connection—this was what Grayson always used to do—but I smile nevertheless; appreciative of Anderson's friendship. "I'll see you soon?"

"See you soon," I say, ignoring the masses of commuters that filter past us.

Anderson smiles, stepping back to move towards his destined platform. I hesitate for a moment, but with one last smile I turn on my heel and stalk towards the platform.

With five minutes until my train arrives, I lean my tired body against the wall of the platform and battle with my thoughts. I can't put my finger on the relationship that Anderson and I share; one minute I crave him; crave his hands on my body; his lips on mine and his whole being consuming me, but the next I only want to be friends, and nothing more. It's like I feel guilty; guilty that if I were to do anything with Anderson, or take our relationship to the next level, then I'd be betraying what I had with Grayson. And I never want to let that go.

But equally, Grayson has gone—disappeared from my life without so much as a goodbye hug or a message of apology. I know I need to let him go; to banish him from my thoughts that keep allowing him to crawl back in, otherwise I'll never be able to move on with life. Yet, the memory of him is always there; always hiding below the surface, ready to scratch at the barrier and emerging in time to remind me that he was the only person who could make me feel so consumed with love, passion and, ironically, with weakness.

And he'll always be there, ready to halt any kind of relationship I might fall into—with anyone other than him.