Stalker // Jimin

3

I will never forget that day. She was my serendipity. But she never really noticed me the way I noticed her.

(Serendipity: when someone accidentally finds something/someone good without actively looking for it)

She soon became friends with Hoseok as they had to practice the dance together. Since I wasn't able to dance I didn't get the opportunity to talk with her a lot. We might have exchanged about 5 sentences in total. I had to sit in the corner and watch them smile at each other, dance with each other. Every single day. It was unfair, I should've been the one who danced the part with her. I wanted to be partnered up with her.

Weeks passed and my ankle still wasn't healed fully, but I was so desperate. I went to the practice room late at night by myself, thinking it would be a good idea to try the dance Hoseok had been learning the past few weeks.

Since I had seen him dance it all the time I had already analyzed the steps and I was able to learn it from my core memory. Maybe I could fill in for him and dance with her in case he got sick. It seemed like such a good idea at the time, but I fucked up.

I put too much pressure on myself, I wanted to do better, be stronger, land swifter. Instead of going easy, I did the dance once, leaping through the air. Twice, repeating the parts I messed up before. I was so dumb. I should've known better. Dancers know they have to be careful with injuries. My ankle was so close to being fully healed, but I wasn't able to wait that long. Every day I spent without practicing, was a day of wasted potential. That just crushes your spirit.

I landed on my ankle after one of the turns and heard a crack, this time pain shot through my ankle worse than it ever had. I fell down on my knees immediately, gripping my ankle and putting pressure on it to minimalize the pain. After years of dancing I somehow learned it was a good way to still down the pain. Tears streamed down my cheeks as new shots of pain kept going through my leg.

I didn't know what to do, my dorm was 3 kilometers from the practice room and there was no way I'd be able to walk there myself. So I did the only thing I could do. I called Hoseok, begging him to pick up as it was already 2am. The line went over and a few seconds later, the raven haired spoke up. For once I was happy that he couldn't catch sleep.

It sounded like he just woke up, his voice was raspy and deep as he talked. "Jimin, it's 2am, why are you calling me this late?" He mumbled. A cry escaped my lips. "Can you please come pick me up Hoseok, I did something bad." I sobbed through the phone. The older gasped and his voice changed, he sounded more concerned this time. "Is everything alright! Where are you?" I quickly answered telling him I was in the practice room.

He cursed under his breath. "Are you kidding me, you know you're not supposed to be practicing for another week." He stated and told me he'd be there in 10 minutes. I said thank you and hung up, tears filling up my eyes once again. I lay down on the cold cement floor, it made me shiver as I was only wearing a short sleeved t-shirt but I didn't care. Being cold was the least of my worries right now. I couldn't imagine a world without dancing. Dancing was, in fact, my world. Without it I wasn't myself.

I flinched at the sudden loud bang of a door. Hoseok stood at the doorframe, breathing loudly as he caught his breath. "Jimin!" He exclaimed. He kneeled down next to me and immediately took a look at my ankle as if he already knew that was what had happened. "Why did you?" He asked, turning his head to look at me with his pearly eyes. I looked away, embarrassed of myself for not knowing the answer myself, or rather not wanting to reveal the stupid answer.

"I- I don't know I... I guess I just really missed dancing?" I questioned, not even sounding sure of my own answer. The raven haired sighed and furrowed his eyebrows. "Let's get you to the doct-". "No! No we're not going to the doctor Hoseok!" I screamed out of fear. I didn't feel the need to hear the words "you'll never be able to dance again" I could not deal with that right now.

All the decisions I ever made throughout my whole life were made so that I'd be able to keep on dancing. I lost weight, I practiced day in day out until I fainted or physically couldn't catch my breath anymore. I gave up parties and friendships. I gave up on life outside of practice.

I was not quitting dance just because a doctor advised me to. Never.

~
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