Operation Skinny ✔️

CHAPTER 11: REMINISCENT

It wasn't long ago when I'd met my best, and only, friend on the bus. It was magical and, although I had been very standoffish, Ji-ho wasn't the type to give up on people so quickly.

Since that day, we would spend every day on the bus together and I would purposely avoid taking my broken-down car to school, even after it was fixed. Ji-ho was an incredible friend. He was kind, caring, compassionate; everything you'd wish to see in a person.

But, four months later, and I started seeing him as more than a friend. He was stunning. A handsome man with a kind heart, I would've loved to have met him under different circumstances— ones in which we were older and could fall in love. He'd invited me to his family's ski trip and I had bugged out and left. I thought I could stay mad at him, but my demeanor didn't last long. Because a month later, he was at my door after a week of trying to talk to me at school. And I forgave him.

And I had kissed him so passionately, I thought that, for once, I deserved those nice feelings. For once, I didn't feel uncomfortable in my own skin, especially not around him. For once, I wasn't completely alone.

It had been a lonely year and a half in McAlester, Oklahoma. I'd moved there from a neighboring town a couple hours away. And, in hopes of being able to move back to my old town and see my old friends, I didn't bother to try to make new friends in McAlester.

From the first day there, I had ridden off every interaction and every person, assuming they were all evil and hateful beings. I'd believed that they al hated me and wanted the worst for me, especially based on the rude way they had treated me and the fact that they'd all grown up together. It quickly took down my demeanor and made me absolutely miserable. I was surrounded by jerks and all I could do was eat my feelings.

So I did, I ate enough to take my healthy BMI up a few numbers and into the category of obese. I hadn't even noticed the changes my body had grown too. And while I had mainly kept to myself at Parley High School, my classmates didn't offer me the same luxury. It seemed that the larger I'd become, the nicer I had to be in order to avoid people making jokes about me. But regardless, a year later, the nickname fat Phoebe had emerged and it only hurt my mental health more. I was no longer eating to live, I was living to eat.

I didn't like being called fat Phoebe. In fact, I hated the nickname because it seemed like the only thing that was relevant about me was my weight. I was so much more than my size, yet people only looked with their eyes and nobody was willing to dig deeper to see my heart and my soul. I was miserable and alone in every aspect of the word. I had no friends and hardly spoke to my parents. I joined no clubs and my grades were absolute garbage. I felt worthless and lacking any sort of control over my life.

And then, a year later, I met someone who was able to change my perspective on life. A person who, despite everything he had been through, still remained humble and kind. He'd come into my life at the time that I had needed someone the most. I didn't ask for it or request it, but I knew that God worked in mysterious ways and perhaps Ji-ho was in response to the suffering I would be thrusting myself into.

My mouth was parched as I opened my eyes and all the surrounding lights slashed at them. I heard the steady beeps of a machine that seemed to match that of a heart.

"Phoebe, you're awake!" The surprised eyes of a familiar man that I could have only envisioned in my dreams appeared before me, I wondered why his beautiful eyes had been crying.

"Ji-ho." I tried to say, but the words were caught in my throat and unwilling to leave. I looked like a frog trying to croak, but being unable to.

"Good Morning Phoebe, it's nice to see you're finally awake." A tall woman in a white coat approached me with a smile on her face. "I'm Dr. Aurelia and..." she continued to talk but I was no longer listening.