Hot mist runs down my back. I am naked in the shower after being with Niklaus. Even though I can't really feel the heat of the water, I need time to relax and reflect. Only one thing comes to my mind while I'm showering. Elwood. My body is primed and ready, I feel sexual, powerful and liberated for the first time in decades. Feeling like this reminds me of being with Elwood. If I concentrate I can remember him: Tanned skin, even though the sun rarely peeked through the smog in London during the war; a lean body, thanks to rationing. He was muscular but didn't work out. He had side-skirted military service because he was needed in London, and because his affluent wife had pulled a few strings keeping him from going abroad. Elwood was always clean shaven and smelt nice no matter what time of the day or night it was. His confidence and charisma knew exactly how to keep a girl spellbound. When he used to stride past the nurses' station I would bite my knuckles so hard it would leave an indentation. I remember momentary flirtations, brushing against him on purpose and whispering suggestively into his ear just to watch him get riled. When he used to kiss me it was electric, tingles used to go down my spine to my core. His touch made me bite my lip and throw my head back in ecstasy. I remember being pushed against a wall, while hands groped my thighs, seeking my suspender hooks and unfastening them one at a time then removing the rationed stockings with sweet kisses down my legs.
I rub my hands over my face wiping away the droplets that have accumulated on my face. It occurs to me that Niklaus was probably present for at least some of my escapades while I was alive. He said he was always watching over me, more so during the war, so he must have seen me with Elwood. I feel a pang of guilt. Seeing me with another man would have been hard for him when he loves me unconditionally. I wonder briefly whether it bothered him. My guilt worsens. Why though? I owe Niklaus nothing. I remain here in his domain, not out of choice. It would have been Avaline's choice, if she had been given the option.
Shut up! I am not her!
I was her. Past tense. I shake my head. I was her a long time ago, not now. I am my own woman, making my own decisions. I am free to choose whoever I want and I choose Elwood.
Jason!
I choose Jason, if given the choice.
I sit on the tiled floor under the cascading waters and sink my face into my hands. I can't even remember what sex feels like. My brain disagrees and I get a quick flash of being with Elwood in the on-call room, naked between the sheets, giggling and begging to be released from his grip.
I feel demented. Torn between my past lives, and these are the only two that are surfacing. I suspect this is because of Niklaus's impact on both of them.
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Death's Captive: Will she escape eternal confinement?
ParanormalA woman is trapped within a London hospital and can't move beyond its grounds. She doesn't know exactly how long she's been there, and she can't ask anyone because nobody can see her or touch her, except people on the verge of death whose souls she...
