Found

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Via! Were all going for a celebration meal come on miguel says as he waits outside of hawks car as hawk is in the drivers seat

Umm you know I think I'm just gonna go home I say

Wh- what why? You don't wanna celebrate miguel asks hurt

No I do I just have a lot going on and my parents are coming home tonight for a little so I wanna spend time with then I say smiling at the boy

Oh okay... at least let us give you a ride home he says and I smile walking to the car

I hop in the back knowing the only reason they wanted me here was to ask about robby

Soo robby keene? You two seem close hawk says eyeing me through the rear view

Yeah how do you know him? Miguel asks

We were friends before I moved to the valley I say

Just friends hawk says eying me again through the mirror

Yeah... just friends I say smiling. I didn't really feel like pouring my feelings out right here in-front of hawk. I mean last time I did that the next day he basically ignored me. I would definitely get around to telling miguel though.

-

When I got home my parents still werent home which was weird cause they said they would be by this time. I shoot them a quick call but neither answer.

Great I think to myself. I ditch my friends for them and now I'm stuck here alone. And if you haven't noticed I have a really hard time being alone. I debate on who to call. Miguel? No I didn't wanna bring him down on the night he won. Hawk? Definitely not. Aisha? No they were all celebrating if I call her everyone will know... vinnie? Yeah vinnie.

The phone rings a couple times before finally he answers

Hey via I can't talk for long what's up

I- oh I just wanted to tell you umm... you left a- a hoodie here. Can I wear it I say not being able to think of anything else to say. He clearly didn't have time to talk if I told him how I was feeling he would feel guilty.

Um yeah yeah that's fine okay see you later he says quickly and then hangs up

I sit at my kitchen island in a dark house the only light being from the stove top light. I scroll through instagram seeing everyones posts about the day. The whole team was out eating and so they posted about that too. I open aishas story and see her demetri hawk and moon at a booth. Of course he invited moon he's like obsessed with her. I couldn't me mad though. I had no right. I hadnt even realized my feelings for hawk genuinely until moon showed up. And then robby. Oh robby. I don't even know what I felt. Of course I still loved him. You don't just stop loving someone, if you do I don't think you ever really loved them in the first place. But it was clear he had some sort of feelings for sam. And he was over at their house a lot training with daniel so those feelings would only grow stronger.

I feel heart getting heavier and heavier as I look around the gorgeous house I was sitting in. I looked over to our mini bar. Loads of liquor sitting there. I never was super into drinking but whenever I did it. It was a way to escape whatever I was feeling. I trudge over to the bar grabbing a bottle of vodka and a bottle of whiskey sitting back down at the counter taking swigs of each. And everytime the burning sensation in my throat got worse.

-

Like 15 shots later I was finally starting to feel it and that emptiness and pain I was feeling started to go away.

I grab my phone again scrolling through my contacts only two people in mind.

I call eli first but it goes straight to voicemail