Horny Dangerpunk (KDA fanfic)

Birthdays Are for Donuts

Evelynn was on her way out after spending the evening at the bar, making Akali's job exceedingly difficult by staring at her from a shadowed corner, golden eyes piercing the distance. They activated Akali's flight-or-flight response each time she met them; additionally, Evelynn was never looking anywhere but at her—at least when Akali noticed her. Ahri and Kai'Sa were no help of course,

The fact that the other few patrons in the bar couldn't perceive Evelynn likely had to do with the fact that she was little more than a cloud of hazy smoke without clear definition, shifting in time with the shadows of the occasional car passing by. Akali could only see her because of years of practice, piercing the veil that separated the natural from the supernatural.

By the time she closed the bar she was quite flustered and jumpy, Evelynn's sudden appearance at the bar when she turned around didn't help at all.

"You know, next time you can just sit up here with me instead of being a nuisance from the corner," Akali said, intent on paying her back by being a brat.

"If I reveal myself to the general public in close proximity they tend to unconsciously group around me, unable to resist my glamour."

"Might bring in more patrons," Akali grumbled.

"They'd be too busy hanging off of me to buy drinks, and the effect would only be exacerbated if they were inebriated. Trust me, I'm doing you a favor." She grinned when Akali rolled her eyes.

Evelynn had parked her car outside, taking up two parking spaces with her Lamborghini. Not that the empty lot was hurting for space, but Akali still snorted inwardly at the woman's antics. She pulled a kunai from her jacket and began idly spinning it around her index finger.

"Am I coming with you tonight?" she asked, running a finger across the car's familiar purple hood with her off-hand. It squeaked as the pad ran over its length, even brief contact leaving a minuscule oily smudge on the metal.

"I've got some paperwork tonight darling, you'll just have to wait." Evelynn's smile faded when Akali drew another squeak from the hood of the car. "Akali."

"Yeah?"

"If you put a scratch on my car I'm going to kill you," Evelynn said sweetly, her smile not matching her tone.

"Is that a promise or a threat?"

"It's both."

A ripple of heat went through Akali's body. She enjoyed playing this game, placing her head in the jaws of the lion and escaping unscathed. Or not. Akali liked to think the kunai still spinning around her finger made up for the inch of height Evelynn had on her. They stared at each other, neither backing down.

Akali stopped the spinning kunai, catching it in her palm, point down. "Well now I wanna scratch your car."

Evelyn sighed theatrically, lowering her glasses to peer at her. "How long are you going to hide behind subtext before you cave and beg me to take you to bed?"

Shit.

Evelynn got into her car while Akali tried to form a comeback. She snapped her jaw shut when Evelynn rolled down the window.

"You're adorable when you overplay your hand, darling." Then she sped off, leaving a line of skid marks in her wake. The clattering of metal brought Akali back to the present, only now realizing she'd lost her grip on the kunai.

Hearing a low whistle, Akali turned to see Kai'Sa and Ahri watching her.

"Shut up."

"But we didn't say anything!" Kai'Sa complained, but she and Ahri devolved into laughter, unable to hold their composure.