~Soudam oneshots~

In and out

I'm so sorry I haven't been active! I've had lots of tests and I don't have much time because of school, won't let it stop me though!! Also a mix between happy and sad in this one - - one last thing is that Soina and Souda are friends! Nothing more nothing less now let's get this started before this A/N is longer then the entire shot!!
Happy reading💛
Slight TW for: crying and shaking Gundam isn't feeling to hot so this could get a lil' messy
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Tanaka has been acting...strange, to say the least. He's been more on edge. More gloomy and upset. And everyone took notice, but when anyone really asked him he just changed the topic to something random, Soina wasn't even able to get anything out of him..

"Souda you must! Tanaka hasn't been the same for weeks now...it's-..heartbreaking, so please! Go talk to him..he IS your significant other no?" She begged as she cupped his hands with her own. "Miss Soina I hate to break it to ya but...He's never really liked talking about how he feels..never has, even after we got tougher he just acted like he didn't have em'. And when I asked he never gives me answers..and even if he did he'd give off ones that need more answers to it. Like say he was upset at somethin', he'd only say he was upset and then leave it at that. But I'd be a blessing if it even got that far with him". He began to get more upset at the thoughts of Tanaka just hiding everything and dealing with his struggles on his very own. Caring for others needs when he can't take care of his own. "Fine. I'm not gonna get anything outta him though.." He sighs softly as his sentence came to and end. A smile formed itself on Soina's face. "Thank you Kazuichi.."

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Tanaka was just reading in bed, it wasn't a very interesting book but it kept him occupied, so when he heard a door slam it startled him.
"Tanaka!!"

Was he mad? No of course not he hasn't done anything. Wait..what if that's the problem? He's not mad though..and if he is then maybe it's at someone or something else? They were like shards of glass wounding his body, slowly and painfully. He didn't know why it was happening now. But his feelings have been taking the better of him which is pretty obvious. He hadn't noticed that Souda was calling for him again.
He had gotten up quickly and saw Souda standing close to the couch and pointing his index finger towards it.
"Souda what-"
"Sit."
Tanaka could feel his heartbeat begin to get quicker with anxiety levels rising. He didn't want to ask but the one question he had in mind was 'are you mad at ?'. He's been being more consistent about others feelings a bit too much..he's kept the want to be kind to people with them realizing it far away from himself. And now that it's suddenly coming back he's been overthinking so much..
As he sat down he tried keeping his eyes down,

Souda slowly sat next to the boy. "You are going to answer truthfully okay?" He sounded so serious...it was weird. "Can I ask something first?" "Shoot"
"Are..you..mad..at me?" Those words were like poison

"What?"

I'm sorry what did I do..
I'm sorry..

"Tanaka! Hey, hey..what's wrong? And no I'm not mad at you! I'm worried.."

Snap

It's like his emotion wall snapped into tiny shards of glass, Tanaka became a mess quick.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry..So-uda 'm s-so-" The boy was cut off by a sob. He kept so much in and it was all drowning his so quickly.. Kazuichi was left in shock and concern. The black haired boy kept on telling him so many things he'd never even expected to be poured out of his mouth, all while gasping for air and sobs escaping here and there.

"I feel so horrible"
"I feel so weak"
"This feeling is unbearable"
"I'm scared"
"I didn't want you to worry"
"I want it to stop please make it"
"Soina shouldn't be worried I'm so horrible"
And so much more.,he was just letting his mouth free. All Kazuichi could yo was stare in sadness..

F*ck

He hasn't been helping at all!!

The feeling hit him like a truck ( lil' pun to lighten the mood💖) he was always telling Tanaka about his day..about what he did, yet he barely asked him. Yet Tanaka didn't ask, he didn't whine..he just, listened. That's all he did.

"Gundam I want you to breath in and out for me okay? Take deep breaths okay?" Souda was still on the other side of the couch. Not wanting to touch him without permission,
"Can I touch you please?"
The shaking boy shook his head rather violently "Okay okay..can you turn for me? So you can face me?" He was talking as soft as possible, trying to comfort the breeder as best he could. Tanaka obeyed and did as told but rather hesitantly
"Breath in and out Mkay? And make sure to make your breaths deep and slow..I'm going to get you some water."

This reaction was unexpected but at least he was being honest..it doesn't make it better though. At all,

Souda came back slowly handing Tanaka the small cup, holding his hands in the process to make sure he didn't drop it. "Souda I-" "am sorry? No, don't be sorry for your feelings dude..they are human emotions, so it's natural." Souda wiped a small tear away from the boys face, giving a warm smile. The black haired boy look down in like shame, feeling his heart be filled with sad happiness. Wrapping his arms around the pinkette, feeling the body freeze was humorous
"I don't deserve you..." Tanaka murmured as Souda sat on his lap holding him close, getting a soft slap from Kazuichi on the back. "Don't day that kinda stuff..." he birdied his head in the others shoulder. Making his voice muffled, "right,,thank you. For..this, it means a lot to me that you checked up on me." "And I'm gonna do it more often as well..okay?" Gundam felt his eyes begin to get glossy once again. Hugging the boy tight he softly cried as he whispered a small "yeah..."
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I hope you liked this cause that HURT- I see Tanaka as a very caring person, especially after what he did in chapter four. He seems to care so much for others and yet I feel like he doesn't take care of himself as much as he should. And since one of his free time events it kinda shows that he doesn't want to upset anyone ( if your wondering what I'm talking about in one of his free time events he claimed to have his mother not have been the best cook, but couldn't refuse it cause it would make her cry) and as much as it points to his mom I feel like that works with other people in his life. That turned  long- anyhoo I'm so glad you made it this far!! Goodbye!💛