Demigods at Hogwarts

Lessons and Gay Panics at Lunch

I don't own Percy Jackson, Heroes of Olympus or Harry Potter. They belong to J.K Rowling and Rick Riordan.

Bold is Author, Italics is thoughts, Underlined is Greek/Latin, Underlined italics is Italian or Spanish.

There will be a mention of sexism.

Harry POV

Those fucking liars followed us to Prophecy Bitch's trapdoor. Are they stalking us to kill us!? I burst through the floor, expecting everyone to cheer and bow in my presence.

Percy POV

I burst out laughing. Harry had tripped on the rug and fallen on his face. I stepped over his body and sat on one of the beanbags in Trelawny's room. My friends all sat down around a few tables at the very back of the room, in the most comfortable seats. I got bored after 2 seconds of sitting down and started messing with the tea on the 'golden trio's' table. I started moving the liquid to shape the tea leaves into words.

Potter screamed so high-pitched it sounded like a kettle boiling.

'Your Next Potter'

Annabeth and Draco, who sat on either side of me, slapped my arms lightly while Luna raised an eyebrow and shook her head at me .

"That's not how you spell 'you're' Percy!" Annabeth sighed at my stupidity.

Everyone noticed how she used Percy instead 'Seaweed Brain' when she uses my nickname more than my actual name. Although, technically, she uses a nickname more than my nickname so she just uses a nickname instead of a nickname for my nickname?

Anyway, I fixed it for the grammar police and then threw it into Harry's face. He wiped the tea out of his eyes and glared at me. I fell back in slapped my hand on my forehead and clutched my chest in fake pain.

"Oh no! My only weakness! Baby glares that make me want to shit my pants!" I gasped loudly.

Potter's eyes widened and his jaw dropped in astonishment because no one had apparently insulted him before. I turned to the teacher coming to our table.

"We will be looking at tea leaves today."

We nodded and Hazel drank the tea first. She looked at the book in confusion and turned the cup around as she almost exploded.

"The book is so wrong! It says that the man symbol means dominance but my mom said it was Mars and action. It also says that the star means space but it means good luck, excellence and success. If I read it from the book, it means space dominance but if I read it properly, it means Mars and good luck." She took a breath and glanced at Iguana man. "I guess I got lucky with Mars."

Frank turned into a tomato. Literally.

"Hey Tomato man!" Leo cackled.

The rest of the lesson was spent with bad readings and jokes.

TIMESKIP TO TRANSFIGURATION

Neville POV

Professor McGonagall was sitting on the desk in her animagus form when we entered and changed when we were all seated.

"Class, we will be learning how to turn into fire-"

"That is so easy!" Hermione interrupted. I scowled in annoyance.

"Well then, Miss Granger, why don't you demonstrate?" McGonagall asked.

She got up and arrogantly strode up to the front of the room, throwing a 'seductive' smirk at Frank. She pointed her wand at herself and cast the spell, "facta ignis" rather cockily. Guess what. Nothing fucking happened.