Kindergarten Boyfriend

4 | Hey Mom

I could feel my heart hammering in my chest as I opened the door.

"Well it didn't take you long to take me up on my offer" Owen said with a smirk as I opened the door for him.

"Yeah sorry about that, it's kind of an emergency" I apologized, looking down.

"No it's no problem at all, I did say anytime remember?" He replied, trying to lighten the mood.

"Well thanks again" I told him finally meeting his gaze, I gave him a small smile, which he quickly returned.

"Shall we" he said gesturing to his car.

I followed him to the car and got into the front with him. My chest felt knotted from nerves, my pep talk was starting to wear off and now I was just nervous that I was making a big mistake.

"So where are we going?" Owen finally asked after starting his truck.

"I can give you directions, I just need to make one stop on the way there" I told him, trying to avoid any more questions about where we were going.

"Secret destination, I like it" he joked, giving me a lopsided smile. I don't know why but it helped my nerves calm down a bit.

"Why don't we play some music" Owen suggested once we were a couple minutes into our drive and the silence was starting to get awkward.

"Sure pass me your phone I can plug it into the aux" I suggested.

He handed me his phone and the second it was in the aux You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift started to play.

As I started to laugh, Owen slammed on the brakes trying to stop the song from playing. I couldn't contain my laughter at this point and the embarrassed look on Owens face wasn't helping.

"It's a good song" he finally said, giving up on stopping it from playing.

"Hey I never said I didn't agree" I joked with him

The song continued to play and I quietly sang the lyrics as I gave Owen directions. I must've been in my own world because when I turned to look at Owen he was already staring right at me. I saw his cheeks turn a light pink colour before he said,

"I missed you Celeste"

I stared at him for a moment, taken aback before I realized we were about to miss our turn.

"Shit! Turn here, sorry!" I told him frantically.

He turned just in the knick of time and once he was parked I told him to wait in the car while I went into the flower shop we were parked outside of.

When I came out a couple minutes later with a fresh bouquet of Gerber's, my moms favourite, Owen gave me a confused look.

I decided that now was probably a good time to fill him in on where we were going.

"I'll explain where we're going while I give you the directions" I started.

"Um, so basically. I really hope you don't find this super weird" I started, nervously

I decided to just rip off the bandage,

"Today's the yearly anniversary of my moms accident" I finally got out, looking up at Owens face to gage his reaction.

His smile faltered a bit before he gave me a concerned look,

"I'm so sorry Celeste, are you okay?" He asked me genuinely.

"Yeah I'm fine. It's just that my dad and I have this tradition where every year on the anniversary we go and visit her grave. But my dads on a last minute work trip this weekend and I didn't know anyone else with a car that was free, so you were the only other option I really had" I told him, my voice sounded hoarse and I could feel my eyes begin to water.

"That's not weird, Celeste I understand. I really am sorry, your mom was one of the sweetest ladies I've ever met and I'm just so sorry that she's gone" he told me.

"It's okay. I really miss her and I just can't not go tonight, you know? I'm sorry if it was last minute or if you had other plans, I know it's a Friday night. I'm sorry" I told him feeling a tear escape and roll down my cheek.

Owen bent over and brought his hand up to my face, lightly wiping away my tear. I could feel my cheeks getting red. Why was he being so nice to me after ignoring me for so long? why now? I thought.

"You have nothing to be sorry about Celeste. I'm the jerk here. There's no where I'd rather be tonight than here, helping you out" he told me, giving me a small reassuring smile.

I smiled back, feeling a weight lift off my chest.

The rest of the car ride was pretty quiet, except for me giving directions, but it was no longer an awkward one. I felt content, and the silence was almost comforting now.

When we finally pulled into the cemetery I told him to park at the side of the path where her grave was.

"I'll be back, this is just something I have to do on my own" I told him, opening the car door.

"No problem. Take as long as you need" he responded before I closed the door.

I walked up to my moms grave, once I was standing in front of it I sat down, placing the flowers down.

"Hey mom" I started. And then as if I had been holding in a breath, I finally let it out spilling everything I wanted to say to my mom in the process.

"I miss you. I miss you so much everyday mom. I still think I'm going to turn around and there you'll be some days. Anytime dad makes one of his stupid jokes I can just see you rolling your eyes at him, laughing. I wish you were here, sometimes I feel like I just really need you mom, it's hard doing all this teenage girl stuff on my own. Do you remember Owen mom? Well apparently he wants to be friends again. I don't know though, there's not a very large list of people I let in. It's easier that way, less of a chance of them leaving. That's why when he did leave me it hurt, I don't know if I'm ready to let him back in again. I know you'd probably tell me to go for it and take a chance but I just don't think I'm that kind of girl anymore. It's hard to trust people when there's a constant threat of them leaving. Maybe I'll take a chance on him though, for you mom." I stopped for a minute to wipe away some of the tears that were falling down my face.

"Anytime I think back to your accident I just feel angry. Angry that you were taken from us, angry that I'm going to have to go through so many milestones without you, angry that this happened to us. I can't understand why it had to be you mom, I needed you and now I just feel so alone sometimes. I just feel like there's a part of my life missing mom, and I think that part is you" I was sobbing now, unable to contain the tears that were streaming down my face or the snot that was now running down my nose.

I sat there for a moment, taking in everything I had just let out, knowing that I meant it all. I tried to wipe everything off my face as best as I could before getting up, but I knew there'd be no way to hide it from Owen.

I gave my mom one last goodbye before turning around and heading back to Owens car.