Pull me closer

ii

I just wanted people to know that this chapter is very triggering. It has mentions of suicide so please be wise with your decisions. You can skip it. This chapter isn't really important its just them realising they need one another so Love lots, author. 

People often thought that home meant were people lived. Everestt can easily say she had never felt" at home" when she was in her house. Home to Everestt was being in the library or being alone at her secret location reading a book. Everestt never really felt at home with other people. She only felt at home when she was by herself.

So when she sat down on Jackson's bed, waiting for him to collect the pizza they had ordered, she wondered why on Earth she felt at home. Even though they had only became acquaintances today, she felt a force push her towards him. It felt weird. She hadn't even noticed that her bestfriend wasn't in today. She hadn't even noticed the several text messages her ex-boyfriend had sent her. All had the same messages in it. She was nothing but scum to him.

"Hey, sorry I took so long. The pizza guy was actually a girl and she was trying to get with me."

The girl just nodded. She was too deep in thought, trying to figure out why she felt this unusual feeling. Everestt was simply perplexed.

The duo had decided to go to the boy's house for lunch instead of staying in school. Surprisingly, Everestt hadn't had an anxiety attack yet. Key word: yet. It was inevitable. A comfortable silence had engulfed them. For once they were at peace.

---  

"...you simply cannot be good at the piano. You have to practice more. Why can't you be more like your siblings huh? They are the best children I could've wished for."

Each word her mother said pricked at her heart. Yet her heart still craved the motherly attention that was deprived from her at such a young age. How could she stand up to the same woman she admired? The same mum that had once been so loving and nice. The same that had told her to be whatever she wanted. Karen was the same mum but her heart was just frozen now. Everestt's father was responsible for that.

All Everestt could do was nod sheepishly. The house was quite, meaning no siblings. No siblings around to witness the harsh words and sometimes actions the mother took in order for Everestt to understand that she wanted the best for her. Karen never meant any harm. It was discipline.

Peering down at her phone Everestt saw another nasty text from Finn. 

'You disgust me with what you wear.' 

'I saw you today with that weird boy. So you're cheating on me now'

'It's fine anyways, I've been sleeping with you best friend'

The last text sent a knife to Everestt's heart. This was the last straw for her. This was the last time she would feel pain caused by someone else. The next time she felt pain, it would be self-inflicted. Everestt was going to end her life.

---

Death wasn't something people often thought or talked. Death wasn't a good nor was it a bad thing. It was the only thing humans were promised. Sometimes people sped up the process. At least that what Everestt was thinking as she walked up the familiar path. 

Everestt wondered if anyone would care if she left. Would anyone care enough for her? Would anyone even notice her sudden disappearance at school? All these thoughts swirled around her mind as she reached her location.

Rope, razors, a note. That was everything Everestt needed. 

It helped to know that Karen wouldn't miss her as  Everestt was never good enough for her. Recalling the time where her mother had said that she had even lowered her standards just for Everestt was the final push. 

Razor in one hand. Note in another. Everestt was ready. 

"Wait! Wait! Just hold on for a little longer."

The familiar voice was instantly recognised. Jackson.

"I know I only met you today and I have no right to come in here and tell you some bullshit. I'm going to be so honest will you. I don't know if it gets better and I don't know the solutions to your issues but I know I can help you forget them for a while. Please don't end your life this way. We can get pizza or runaway. I don't really mind; I'm in the mood for both to be honest," he slightly joked towards the end, not knowing what to do in this foreign situation.

Before her lifeless brown eyes, stood her prince charming. He had saved her. He had saved her life. He had rescued her. Breathing was suddenly extrinsic to her.

"Shit you're having a panic attack or an anxiety attack. I don't know the difference. Um...I think you're supposed to focus on breathing and umm...yea count to three or any other number. Sorry I'm so shit at this."

Those were the last words Everestt heard as she fainted.