Only You

Vulnerable

Jean Horton was probably the biggest deal in her business, she knew that and more importantly, she liked it. Being the most important person in English Opera was something Jean took great pride in, it was a result of hard work, dedication and the fact that she never gave up, she had rightfully earned this prominent spot in their little world and she fully intended to stay for years or even decades to come. Yes, Jean Horton liked her life, which was modestly luxurious, and she liked her job.
She also liked her colleague Reginald Paget, not that she'd ever actually admit it. For Jean, this was uncharted territory, she usually didn't just like people and especially men just like that. It was definitely more than her usual desire for adventure, for a thrill that wouldn't last, to her horror, she realised this was a genuine hope for deep connection. They were currently working on a fully staged revival of a workshop version of Rigoletto they had done years ago, she now realised that even back then, she'd had feelings for him that were... different. Love? Maybe. A higher than usual amount of affection? Most certainly. And ever since that very first Rigoletto, those feelings had been there, they had never gone away, an undercurrent of yearning that came to the surface every now and then. Right now, as they were back together, working on something big, it was almost unbearable, having him so close certainly wasn't easy. Slowly but surely, her simple yearning was growing into that kind of all consuming, burning love that wouldn't let her eat, sleep or stop thinking of him.

What made matters even worse was that for some reason he didn't seem to return her feelings which she hated and it kept her up at night. Was she really that awful? Was it her reputation as a ruthless, heartless beast? Was it because they called her a man eater? Was it because she valued her career too much or maybe because he loved someone else? Whatever it was, that unrequited love hurt. They worked so well together but whenever the topic of their conversation changed to something more personal, Reg seemed to block her efforts. It felt hopeless, but Jean couldn't just tell him how she felt. It wasn't in her nature to really talk about feelings and to be quite honest, she had never actively pursued someone. This was not how things usually went and so she kept yearning, dropping hints and waiting for something to happen. Her best friend Cissy, who was working on this Rigoletto alongside her, kept scolding her for not making the first step.
"You'll regret it, Jean. I know you have your pride, but pride isn't all that matters."
Deep down, Jean knew that her friend was right and wanted her best, yet she kept shrugging it off. At some point, Reginald just HAD to notice her and make the first step. Right?

Wrong. This went on for a while, even past their opening night, and Jean suffered in silence. She was still convinced that sooner, rather than later, Reg would start pursuing her. That was until the second week of their run at the Royal Opera House, when she read in the newspaper that Reg was allegedly dating Anne Langley. Awful Anne Langley of all people. Her worst competition, ever since their days at school, the most manipulative, mean and selfish person she knew, and coming from Jean Horton, that meant a lot. Jean was well aware that she wasn't exactly what people would consider a good person, but Anne was worse. The fact that Reginald would choose Anne over her stung, and it stung badly. Things couldn't go on that way, Jean had enough.
That night, she decided to leave her comfort zone and do something she usually never did. Make the first step. Jean knew that if she really wanted Reg, she had to fight for him. She didn't really know how to proceed, usually she was the pursued party, but while her stylists were busy getting her ready, she hatched a plan, involving the only thing she felt she was remotely good at. Jean wasn't much of a talker, at least not when it came to her feelings, but she certainly was a good kisser.

During the show they had to kiss twice and this time, Jean refused to make it a normal stage kiss, oh no.
In the middle of the stage, obvious to everyone and yet hidden behind their roles, she kissed him passionately, laying bare her feelings for just a few seconds as the music around them rose in a thrilling crescendo. Reg was surprised but then, much to Jean's delight, he kissed her back. It felt magical and for a moment there was just Jean, in his arms, kissing him in a way he'd never been kissed before and Reg, kissing her back as if he'd never done anything else. It felt like two puzzle pieces finally fitting together. But then the music continued and he pulled away, acting out his part like the professional that he was and so was Jean, even though everything inside her felt like it was on fire. She wanted to tell him. The endorphins from their kiss had momentarily disabled all her reserve. This kiss made her want more, it made her crave his love and affection, she wanted him to give her those gentle looks and basically everything she'd rejected as nonsense before. There was no undercurrent of yearning anymore, this was a full blown eruption of love. Yet, she wondered if he felt the same or if he had just kissed her back because it was his job or he'd been overwhelmed. The uncertainty drove her half mad and she couldn't even enjoy the applause at the end, which was unusual for her. Normally, Jean basked in the adoration of her audience, smiling and waving like a queen, the stage was hers and the audience worshipped her. That day however, it didn't really matter. There were more pressing issues.