Only You

Perpetual Bliss

They barely slept that night, which really was no surprise, but at some point Jean did drift off, and of course dreamed of Reg, who was holding her all night.
Waking up in his arms felt oddly triumphant to her, even more so when she felt how sore her body was from the night before. Take that, Langley. No dream could ever be as wonderful as this.
Reg looked so beautiful when he was asleep. And a little vulnerable too. Maybe it wasn't just her who had begun to tear down some walls. The night before it had felt like they'd known each other forever, being with Reg felt like coming home. Never before had Jean wanted someone to love her so badly. She wanted him to know everything about her, she wanted him to love her mind as well as her body, for the first time in her life she wanted to open up to someone. For some reason, she wasn't scared of opening up to Reg, well, not anymore. And more importantly, she loved him, even more after what had happened the night before, nobody had ever been so gentle and respectful. It had felt so different. Everything about him felt different. She sighed, thinking of all the time she had wasted with men who hadn't been worth her while. But now it was clear to her. Against all odds, Jean Horton had fallen in love with someone. With Reginald Paget. And she wouldn't even mind if everyone knew, in fact, she would be proud to be seen with him. She cared about him more than she cared about the reputation she had so carefully constructed.

Reg was still sleeping, oblivious to the thoughts that were running through Jean's mind. He was dreaming, sometimes his face moved a little, to a slight frown, then it relaxed again. It was obvious that he wouldn't wake anytime soon, but it was hard for Jean to keep all her thoughts to herself, she felt as if she was about to burst from the sudden rush of affection she felt for Reg, so she started whispering into his ear. She told him that she'd fallen hopelessly in love with him, how much she wanted to be with him, share her life with him, wake up to him every morning and so on.
To Jean, this felt a little like a dress rehearsal, saying such things out loud wasn't something she was accustomed to. She appreciated the chance of this trial run, having the words hang in the air, saying them, hearing them out loud for the first time. It was oddly strange and familiar at the same time. Once she had started, Jean couldn't really stop. She loved how her voice sounded, how suddenly she seemed like a warm and gentle person, like someone who loved and was loved in return. She had almost forgotten that love was an option for her.
She kept telling Reggie how beautiful he was to her, how much she admired his talents and his kindness and at some point his eyelids fluttered and he woke up, slowly but surely.
He stretched out his arms, yawned and blinked, the light falling through a crack in the curtain was blinding him. Reg seemed a little confused at first upon seeing that he wasn't alone, but a smile flickered across his face when he recognised Jean.

"Good morning, beautiful," he mumbled and reached for her hand. Jean just bent down and kissed him, she couldn't resist and to her delight he kissed her back without hesitation. "Were you telling me all these nice things or was I dreaming?" He now asked, he had heard her say the loveliest things, but as it often is with sleep and dreams, he wasn't sure if it wasn't just his brain, confounding his wishful thinking with reality.
"I was, in fact there is even more to say..." She replied quietly. "And they are all true, it's just... I'm having a much harder time telling you what I feel to your face now that you're awake." She played with his hair, she even tried braiding it. All to make him hopefully change the subject but to no avail. She was a little afraid of his answer. But he smiled that smile she loved so much, it was a warm, genuine smile that showed just how gentle he was. He would never pressure her into saying something she wasn't ready for.
"Don't worry about it, dear. I suppose it's time to confess that I have fallen for you just as hopelessly, maybe that makes it easier for you." He now looked her in the eye, still not entirely convinced that he wasn't dreaming. Jean noticed a tinge of... something in his look. Was it sadness? Bitterness? She wasn't quite sure. "I just never thought someone like you could be interested in someone like... well, like me." He continued, his voice still perfectly soft even with such harsh words. Why was he so hard on himself? Couldn't he see that he was the most desirable bachelor in London?
"What do you mean by that?" Jean kissed his hand, his soft skin brushing against her lips for a moment longer than needed.
"Jean, you could have anyone. So why would you choose me of all people, I don't have much to offer. At least not much of the things you want."
"I kind of, sort of did have everyone." She sighed and tried smiling but it just felt awkward. Reg wasn't judging her, she knew that, but she was judging herself, hard. "Been there, done that, but it wasn't what I had been looking for. I don't want any of them, I want you. Only you."
Reg kissed her cheek. She really was full of surprises. Did he mind her past? Not at all. Everyone had a past and besides, he had a few skeletons in the closet himself.
"Won't I be too boring?" He asked lightly. He wanted Jean to be sure, he didn't want to pretend to lure her in and then disappoint her, but she shook her head.
"You couldn't be, you're very interesting to me. And... I know I'm repeating myself, but you are so beautiful to me, Reggie, I don't know what else to say. I am tired of being restless. I feel grounded with you and that is exactly what I need. " He gave her a gentle kiss and sighed deeply. He wanted to believe her so badly, he felt that she was genuine, and yet he felt that this happiness wasn't meant for him, as if he was an imposter.
"If you say so, princess. Then... Just be here with me." He would just enjoy being with Jean for as long as she would be with him. Because surely she would grow tired of him one day but Reg knew that sometimes, love meant that you have to let someone go. And eventually he would let her go if that was what she wanted, he couldn't stand the thought of making Jean unhappy.