Like Love But Not

Chapter 3- Midsummer Wind

Xia Mingxiu came back home very late at night and he brought along supper. Then the two of them ate peacefully in the living room.

After a few days of research on the difference between Xia Mingxiu and I, this was my main finding: except for being clumsy and having terrible culinary skills, he was better than me in every other aspect.
Besides appearance and feelings, Xia Mingxiu won because he and Luo Yuchen interacted on an equal footing. He never had to interact the way that I did with Luo Yuchen; Xia Mingxiu didn’t always went along with Luo Yuchen’s bidding
I no longer felt indignant that everyone in the world was not equal. Xia Mingxiu was neither humble nor arrogant and he was an independent person. I felt that I should learn from his character.

By right, what was yours will be yours. If it wasn’t yours, it wouldn’t be yours no matter how much you beg for it so there was no need to be pretentious and there was definitely no need to go as low as me.

Xia Mingxiu liked Luo Yuchen but he didn’t look like he couldn’t handle a life without Luo Yuchen so Luo Yuchen was very gentle when he was with Xia Mingxiu. If he wasn’t gentle, he couldn’t guarantee that Xia Mingxiu would continue liking him. This was different from me who was thoroughly ensnared by him.

Xia Mingxiu was one of the most perfect person that I had ever seen in this world. His appearance was moving and he had a heart of gold. Even his conduct was right. People couldn’t help but think that he was a creation of god when his mood was good.

I deeply loved Luo Yuchen and I had felt that he was also once just as perfect.

The result from getting together with me and being waited upon by me was that he became a cold and violent person who liked to do things his way.

Fortunately, he only acted that way towards me.

He was a very good lover when he was with Xia Mingxiu.

I remembered a fairy tale that I had heard before where two imperfect people became perfect together when they meet.

It was a mistake for him to be with me. It was only natural that he couldn’t become perfect.

He became more perfect now that he was finally able to meet and be with someone that was perfect.

I was much more selfish in the past. I wished for Luo Yuchen to be happy but I always broke Luo Yuchen and Xia Mingxiu apart when they were happy together. I wasn’t able to pretend that I didn’t see them and I definitely wasn’t able to give them my blessing.

It was impossible for me to give up. As long as I was alive, I wouldn’t be able to see him with someone else. I could truly set him free only when I die.

I didn’t know whether I should laugh or cry now that I had become a ghost.

I now only look at them in admiration. I had learned to admire how beautiful it was to see them together.

Despite that, there must be something that I had not done well enough since I was still unable to ascend to heaven.

Maybe I have to wait for the day when I can sincerely wish for their happiness in order to be free.

How strange. One week ago, I had thought that this was something impossible to achieve. Yet now, I could feel that such a day would come very soon.

I had nothing to do when the two of them were deep asleep and the surroundings were quiet so I would continue to evaluate my love rival’s perfect character.

Xia Mingxiu was also a very strong person.
He was fighting against a very serious illness when we were at the hospital that year. However, he was smiling the brightest when he was in front of the screen afterwards.