Like Love But Not

9- Flicker of Hope

Looking at the white wall as if I was there, he asked softly and gently.

Then, he touched his neck out of habit. His necklace was gone

He panicked immediately.

It was taken off since it hindered the operation. Xia Mingxiu placed it in the inner pocket of the overcoat and hung the coat nearby.

But Luo Yuchen wasn’t aware. He called for the nurse and asked, “Where is my ring?”

Naturally, the nurse didn’t know about the ring. And with Luo Yuchen desparately asking  without the slightest calm, they could only look at each other in dismay.

Luo Yuchen was so anxious to the point that he was turning crazy, but he couldn’t do anything. The nurse pressed him back down on the bed as someone called Xia Mingxiu.

Luo Yuchen covered his head with the blanket. From the outside, I could see him trembling. I thought he was crying.

I have never seen Luo Yuchen so distressed before. Or rather, I have never seen him be so distressed because of me that he was unable to vent.

Right now, I was like an oyster. The pearl I protected so painstakingly for many years was extracted out after I died and willfully worn. Although I was so distressed to the point of going crazy, I had no way to put it back in my shell to take care of again.

I was right beside him, but I wasn’t even able to hug him when he was trying so hard to stifle his sobs.

I hated how powerless I was.

Xia Mingxiu rushed to the hospital in the afternoon. After listening to the doctor and the nurse’s complaints, he reached into the pocket of the coat and took out the necklace with the ring, handing it to Luo Yuchen.

By now, Luo Yuchen had already calmed down. He silently took the necklace and wore it. Then he closed his eyes and no longer spoke.

I saw the boundary he set clearly. He had cruelly left Xia Mingxiu outside that boundary of his world.

His world was already pitch black, even Xia Mingxiu’s radiance wasn’t able to shine through.

Even though Luo Yuchen treated Xia Mingxiu like this, Xia Mingxiu still stayed by his side and quietly took care of him.

Luo Yuchen was soon discharged, but he kept staying at home. He wasn’t active, didn’t pick up any calls, and didn’t meet anyone.

“You haven’t eaten for the entire day. Have some milk.” Xia Mingxiu carried a coffee cup filled with warm milk to Luo Yuchen.

Luo Yuchen had been ignoring Xia Mingxiu’s consolation for the whole day, but he suddenly moved when he saw the cup of milk.

Only I understood.

I didn’t know why Xia Mingxiu had used the coffee cup to hold the milk. This had been a habit of mine, or should I say, a weird habit I purposefully took on. I had gladly and pretentiously thought this was a little secret between Luo Yuchen and I.

I long knew that I had to leave Luo Yuchen one day, so I purposely had some weird habits that were different from others. After we separated, even if he couldn’t remember me, he might still remember those weird habits of mine.

Sadly, I realised that this habit wasn’t exclusive to me.

Luo Yuchen sat up obediently and took the cup of milk.

The steam coming off the milk was so hot it fogged his eyes.

He drank a few mouthfuls of it.

I saw tears hang at the corner of his eyes. He wasn’t able to hold them back, so he cried silently.