Like Love But Not

Chapter 4- White Villa

I stood on one side and quietly watched him. I was shocked to see an expression of fragility appearing slowly on Luo Yuchen’s expressionless face.

I had seen this expression before. Long ago, Luo Yuchen had the same expression when we were at the hospital with Xia Mingxiu. This was when he thought that Xia Mingxiu wouldn’t survive. It was an expression that made others feel an extraordinary heartache. It made them feel that they didn’t know what to do. He thought that he had covered it up well but the people around him could tell that he wanted to cry but couldn’t.

Ever since he left the soccer team, he gradually became someone who could hide his thoughts. He always looked cold on the surface.

Now that cold mask of his seemed to have broken like glass.

I knew that Luo Yuchen was a proud person. He would put on a strong facade even if he was wronged. He would never let someone else see him when he was weak.

In fact, he still looked expressionless overall. He could have continued acting but there was no one around to see it so he could gradually show his sorrows. The most impactful actors could make the audience feel shrouded by a sense of sadness by simply standing there without crying or smiling. Luo Yuchen currently looked just like that.

Was it because of me?

It looked like he did care about me even though he didn’t love me. He hated me but he wasn’t as heartless as how he had always shown himself to be.

This was sufficient enough to make me feel happy and satisfied.

This was definitely redemption for someone like me who forever loved him.

Xia Mingxiu came back pretty late. He didn’t look as pale as he was when he went out but his expression still looked strange.

I don’t get it. Why was he so anxious for me?
It should have been enough if he was just acting. Luo Yuchen didn’t even bat an eye to it.

We were considered close. We often drank and went out for karaoke together because of Luo Yuchen. I didn’t treat him badly when I was alive but I didn’t treat him well either. I had always made it clear that I was inviting him because of Luo Yuchen; I was inviting him as Luo Yuchen’s “friend” and I clearly showed that I had no desire to give Luo Yuchen to him.

Luo Yuchen changed back to his cold demeanor again after Xia Mingxiu came back. If Xia Mingxiu doesn’t speak, he wouldn’t take the initiative to speak even though he obviously looked defeated. He was trying to act cool but he wasn’t able to hide the fact that he was looking at Xia Mingxiu’s every movement. It was as though he was trying to read something from Xia Mingxiu’s actions.

Xia Mingxiu didn’t seemed to be in the mood to play such games with him but he still kept quiet on purpose. Based on his expression, he seemed to be gloating with clenched teeth on the inside.

I felt very uneasy after I saw that look. I was worried that Fang Xieyi might have told him everything.

I didn’t want Luo Yuchen to find out that I was already dead.

Initially, I didn’t want him to find out because I was worried that my death would affect their relationship. But now, I didn’t want him to find out because I’m worried about him.

Although I didn’t think that Luo Yuchen would laugh happily and live a perfectly happy life after learning that I died, I did think that he would at least feel a few seconds of guilt towards me, the little grass which he had accidentally stepped on in his life journey filled with endless happiness. That was what I thought before I died but I was no longer sure after seeing his state after Xia Mingxiu left the house.