The Last Drop (Grey's Anatomy)

Never Ending Thoughts

Meredith POV
I awake still on the couch but Cristina was gone, I felt as if there was a empty pit inside my stomach. I slowly stood up feeling my legs stumble. I quickly scurried to the kitchen knowing that I HAD to eat and grabbed a cereal bar from the top shelf of their cupboard. I slowly took small bites of the bar and stared at the clock above the stove. 11:00. Wow. I can't believe I slept in that late. I looked up remember that Cristina hadn't been cleared for surgery. So where could she be? I shuffled to the living room still feeling groggy and grabbed  my phone, dialing Cristina.

Cristina POV
I walked into the attending's lounge and my phone started ringing.
C: "Meredith?"
M: "Cristina! Where are you?"
C: "I'm at the hospital, Owen got me cleared for surgery!"
M: "Oh... Uhm.. That's great!" Meredith exclaimed with fake enthusiasm.
C: "Yeah, so I uh- I gotta go 911 in the pit, bye Mer, call if you need anything."

Meredith POV
Wow. How could Cristina get cleared before me? Last time when she came back to early she lied on the floor of an OR sobbing for hours. I guess this time was different. Maybe I would be the one lying on the floor of an OR for an entire surgery. The thought of that made me chuckle. After I finished the cereal bar I felt less empty but still bottomless. I still had no motivation to eat or do anything, all I wanted to do was sleep an entire night with no night terrors or dreams that cause me to wake up shaking with a tear stained face. I quickly erase my thoughts and Walk out the front door, the air is cold on my face and I breath in the smells of beautiful nature. I decide that I should probably go back to my house, seeing that I was still at Cristina's, "Damnit, I forgot I walked here last night." I mumble to myself as I start to walk down the front steps and head home. I finally make it home, It wasn't a very far walk but it's rare for it to be so sunny and hot in Seattle so I walk up the front steps with beads of sweat dripping down my face. I walk through the front door breathing in deeply feeling the refreshing cold air on my face. I've been trying to force myself out of my depressing trance but It's so hard knowing that It's my fault Alex is dead. I decide to grab a water bottle and just read in my bedroom.

Derek POV
As I'm walking down the hospital hallway I notice A familiar face with dark brown curls rested in a pony on her head, "Cristina! Since when have you been pack to work?" I exclaim with a smile on my face, "Oh, Hi Derek! I finally got cleared for surgery, Thanks to Owen." She smirks with a wink, I give her a McDreamy smile genuinely feeling happy for her but I can't help but worry about the other Twisted Sister, "Uhm- have you talked to Meredith today? I'm guessing she's home alone, still at your house?" I ask still feeling horrible about the night before that Cristina had told me about when I got called in for emergency surgery at 3:00 in the morning. "Yes, actually I talked to her not that long ago and she seemed to be doing fine, I'm still be worried about her though, Derek you should probably talk to her.." Cristina States with a sigh, "Well I better run, lives to save ya know!" Cristina shouts down the hall while running towards the pit. I just sigh and look down at my phone seeing Mer's contact. There's no possible way for me to know what's going on inside her head and that absolutely kills me.