thanks mark ethan nestor x reader

publicity

it's been five weeks since you last saw ethan, in person that is. you keep finding yourself watching that video and reading the comments. you are stuck inside the comment section and your head when there's a knock at the door.

"hey i don't know if you remember but i'm ssa spencer gubler."
"yea i remember what's up?"
"well the fbi has set up a publicity stunt and we have to head over to boa."
"oh right. uh should i get some information right?"
"yes i am posing as a business man involved in music production since you are branching into it."
"okay cool"

you two head out and the paparazzi get their pictures. you two get seated and you looked at him.

'damn he looks kinda good in this light.'

you two converse over a wide variety of things and the conversation continues as you two wrap dinner up. you two head out and the paparazzi bombards you with questions.

p "does this mean your over ethan nestor?"

'this won't hurt him. he knows it's fake. but we're not together anymore. but i was just mad at him then. i still love him.'

p "y/n?"
y "oh uhm there's no right answer to that. i love ethan. just because we broke up doesn't mean o hate him and i feel like the question your asking is if i am over the relationship yes yes i am but again i harbor no bad feelings for ethan he is a part of me wether he is in or out of my life because we spent a year and a half together. we had a baby, the baby didn't make it but still."
p "okay one last question. how do you feel about ethans new relationship?"
y "i didn't know about any new relationship but if he's happy that's all that matters i mean if i can go on a date with someone else who's to say that he's not allowed to."

you and spencer make it to the car and you start driving back to your place.

"you handles the paparazzi very well for a civilian"
"thanks i have been dealing with them since i was 16 i also wanted to be an actress for a considerable amount of time but didn't have the skills for it."
"well either way you were great"

spencer's phone dings and he sends a few messages back.

"the interview is up and it's already trending."
"cool"

you phone dings and all you can do is pray that it's ethan because you really do miss him.

"can you check who that is please?"
"oh sure. uh it's from someone named josh?"
"oh okay cool"

he heard the disappointment in your voice.

"wishing it was ethan"
"kinda. is it okay with you if i vent for a bit like you don't really have to listen i just want to let it all blow out."
"go ahead but be warned i will subconsciously profile you based on how this goes."
"haha okay just tell me if murder is in my future cuz i probably would throw up if i tried like it's a no from me."
"okay whatever you say."

you gently punch him on the shoulder.

"okay so like i haven't spoken to ethan in like five months but i was mad at him and on all sorts for drugs not to mention i had just lost a baby AT SIX FUCKIN MONTHS. she was born and i didn't even get to fucking meet her. like a fetus brewed inside me and then it was gone like THAT. i miss ethan so much but like i broke up with him but i didn't mean it and now we can't really talk to each other without the fear of someone trying to kill one of us."

some tears roll down your eyes and you two drive a bit in silence.

"do you want to hear what i have to say or do you just want me to agree with you even though it wasn't an argument."
"what do you feel like i should do"
"let him know. he most likely feels the same about you because he truly loved you even when i met the two of you i could tell."