The Au pair

The talk

I waited , and waited for that clock to strike 12 .

But when it finally did , i wanted it to go back an hour . I felt like i hadnt braced myself enough . I tried talking myself out of it , knowing that what i was doing was completely wrong .

I paced back and forth , forth and back .

But eventually my curiosity got the best of me and i slipped out my bedroom door , creeped past jennys door , and descended down the stairs.

I looked around , knowing Jenny was upstairs sound asleep , and no one else lived in the house , but i still felt eyes on me .

Maybe it was guilt .

I opened the front door , thankful it wasnt squeaky like my door back home .

I closed it quietly , and started walking to the park.

Since it was completely dark outside , i forgot where i was walking for a moment , but i then realized where i was and picked up my speed .

It was really chilly , so i pulled my sweatshirt a little tighter and rubbed my hands together .

I arrived at the park , and saw grants silhouette right away . I walked towards him slowly, feeling odd being there .

He looked off into the distance with his hands in his pockets , jaw clenched , and brow furrowed .

When he saw me he jumped a little , recovering quickly .

" You walk so damn quietly , jesus antoinette !"

I stepped away from him , startled by his sudden outburst .

"Fuck ." , he muttered under his breath .

He he put his hands on his forehead , massaging his temples slowly .

I hadnt ever seen him this worked up , although i hadnt known him long , he generally was in my opinion , a happy man .

He paced back and forth , hands on his hips .

" Listen . I dont know what the fuck im saying right now . Ive never been one for expressing feelings . "

I nodded my head slowly , waiting for him to continue .

" I just feel bad for bringing you into this . "

" Into what ?"

" The issues im having with jenny ."

He walked closer towards me .

" Its no problem sir . "

" Call me grant , sir is way to formal for friends ." , he looked up at me with a smile playing on his lips .

I smirked and looked down at the ground.

He blew out air from his mouth and turned around in one quick gesture .

" I really do love my wife , its just right now we're going through a difficult time . "

I nodded , getting dissapointed that all he wanted to do was talk about marital problems .

I stopped myself from thinking about him in any other light than a friend . Nothing between us would ever happen , and thats the way it should be .

I looked up from my train of thought to find him staring at my face as thouroughly as he was earlier .

When he noticed i caught him staring , he shook his head and started to speak .

" My wife got sick when we first got married ."

He walked over to the picnic bench a few feet away and sat on it .

" When she had the first miscarriage, i stuck with her through everything . Doctors appointments , randomn outbursts of crying , everything . "

" Well we dont have children now , so . Thats one less job for you to worry about . "

He smiled a sad smile , and continued on .

" Now all she does is work, comes home to cook , and goes to sleep . "

I was getting bored of his problems . Although i knew they were important to him , i didnt want to hear it . I wanted to go to sleep in my warm bed , and not worry about anything .

" I think its time i go back to house. "

I started walking away , regretting ever coming out here in the first place . What did i think he was going to do ? Profess his undying love for me ?

I walked briskly , leaving grant sitting on the bench , alone with his thoughts .

The walk back to the house was filled with euphoria . I couldnt comprehend what had just happened , so i didnt ponder on it too much .

I walked back in the house, slowly , and quietly .

When i got to my bedroom door , i heard grant come inside a few moments after , tripping over something and a making a loud crash .

I closed my door really fast when i heard jenny running downstairs.

" Where the hell have you been ?" She barked .

"God , i went on a walk jenny . "

" Grant, you cant just walk around like a damn fool at all hours of the night !"

" We have neighborhood watch ! I dont want any complaints that my husband is being a weirdo walking around doing god knows what at one a.m !"

I walked back to my bed , wondering what neighborhood watch was , hoping they werent watching me and grant .

I laid down on the bed , dozing off to sleep .

Ill ask grant about it later , i thought.

That was the last thing i remember before darkness crept up on me and i was in a deep , dreamless sleep .