𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐈 𝐒𝐀𝐖 𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐀 // wilbur soot x reader

XII

tw: mentions of self harm, mental illnesses and suicide

recap: y/n finds herself in a difficult position after reading disturbing messages from an old "friend"

y/n pov

Will and I woke up at around the same time. We laid together consciously for a while and I decided it was time to get up.

Neither of us was in the mood to go anywhere today, but we didn't have anything to make for breakfast so I volunteered to go and get groceries. It wasn't pleasant, just as if suddenly all of the emotions disappeared from society. A depressing atmosphere appeared in what seemed like everyone around me. I ended up buying some bare necessities like milk, eggs, bread and some vegetables.

When I came in I heard Will singing something. Never heard it before, so I dropped off the stuff I bought in the kitchen and went to his room to ask him what song it was. He seemed pretty happy that I'm back, and told me that it's called "I'm in love with an e-girl" and he was going to release it really soon.

We went to the kitchen together and while I was making some avocado toast for us both Will unexpectedly asked,

"So uhm, in the dms he said that you had fun at some party? What does that mean?"

I was not sure what to say because talking about my past always made me tear up.

"Uh, nothing really. Something that happened a few years ago when I lived in Berlin." - I mumbled.

"Come on Y/n, I know when you're lying. Don't be scared to talk about your past, if something happened it's nothing to be afraid of, I've been through some shit too."

Alright, I'll tell him the whole story. He won't tell anyone... right?

And then I proceed to talk about the party, what happened, getting drunk, the manipulation...

"I'm ranting too much now, sorr-" -

"No, it's okay."- he interrupted with a small grin on his face.

Then I went on about what I had to endure, the things they did to me. Then I talked about my depression, self harm and other mental issues. By the time I had finished complaining about that event tears were already running down my face.

"Aw, it's alright Y/n. I wish you wouldn't have had to go through all of this." - Will comforted me.

"Your turn. You've been through shit too after all."- I whispered.

To say the least, his story was shocking to me. Under the happiness that radiates from his content there were mental issues, suicide attempts and other problems.

"And then I attempted suicide in Vienna, on a school trip 5 years ago. Every year I come back there to look back at my past." - he explained, his voice getting weaker with every word.

Now we were crying together, great. By now we had already finished breakfast so I went over to Wilbur and hugged him as tightly as I could. We sat there together for over an hour, meanwhile Will played our mutual Spotify playlist.

The PM hours were approaching and Will and I haven't done anything yet so I set up a chill Just Chatting stream. Since I got into a relationship with Wilbur both my average viewer count and follower count had skyrocketed; in a little over a week I went from 13k twitch followers to almost 100k and over 60k subs on Youtube. We talked about different stuff, reacted to some animatics and lore theories and Wilbur sang some of his songs. Nobody else from the SMP was streaming at the moment so me and Will acquired 69k viewers at the peak.

After a few hours the stream was coming to the end I asked the chat who to raid, and we picked a random small streamer. Her reaction was priceless as she watched the new follows and subs come in; I knew that feeling well. I turned off my PC and we messed around for a while.

We ordered chinese takeaway for a 2 in 1 lunch and dinner since it was pretty much the time in between these two. We spent the rest of the day doing random stuff but the activity that lasted the longest was recording covers of random songs on our playlist. I was a bit shy at first and intimidated by Wilbur's musical talent but eventually, my old singing passion came back.

authors note

I've decided that new chapters will come out Tuesdays and Fridays and one week will have an additional upload. This way I'll finish on March 1st.

I'm having so much fun writing the book, and I'm actually 2 chapters ahead right now; I genuinely hope that you feel the same reading it.

join my discord (link in profile) if you want to be a part of the community! the people also decide about important stuff in/about the book :)

stay safe,

xo hannah