A Song Of Shadows

FOUR

The number of classrooms at Lobengula high school was quite small compared to the number classes. Because of this, pupils from the first form to the fourth form were divided into two groups of pupils, "School A" and "School B". School A began their lessons from seven o'clock in morning and dismissed at mid-day, while School B began theirs ten minutes after twelve o'clock, and dismissed at ten past five in the evening. Every two weeks, however, they would exchange schedules. School B would begin lessons early in the morning, while School A began their lessons in the afternoon.

A-level pupils where neither part of School A nor School B. We didn't dismiss with Junior pupils. Instead, we had a longer day than they did and dismissed at three o'clock in the afternoon. Our lessons, however, ended at twelve; and from twelve to one o'clock we had lunch hour; and one o'clock to three o'clock was our study period.

Most pupils, however, often sneaked out with the morning classes to evade the study period and get home early. Sometimes Matthew was one of them, sometimes he wasn't. As a matter of fact, he had been staying through the study period ever since the week he I had begun our...thing-Which had been about four months earlier.

But that Tuesday, he not only went home as soon as the assembly meeting ended, but he went without saying goodbye. I wish I could say I wasn't bothered by it, but then again, I want tell this story in the most truthful way possible, so I'll be honest. I was furious!

"Maybe he's a bit..." Nathan was saying, trying to calm me down. "Stressed. He is grieving. I'd wanna be left the hell alone if I had lost such a close family member."

"But that's not a good enough reason to not say goodbye to your girlfriend," I said as a matter of factly.

Nathan and I were under the same tree Matthew had been under earlier on. He was sitting down on the log bench and I was pacing around. Some of our classmates were sitting under the other, much bigger tree and were having quite a loud conversation. Our whole stream had been kicked our classroom by a tall and big female teacher so that she could bring in her junior class for an English lesson. It was the third time she had chased us out of our own classroom this whole term. I didn't mind. The day had gotten quite warm since morning, and I didn't want anyone else listening when I complained to Nathan about Matthew.

"He spent the whole day avoiding me, Nathan," I continued. "What did I do to him?"

He folded his arms and looked at me with one raised eyebrow. "I don't know. Maybe you annoyed him?"

"I didn't," I told.

"Well, you can be quite annoying sometimes," he laughed.

He stopped when he realised I wasn't laughing with him. Then he raised one finger to his chin.

"You're probably over reacting," he said. "I'm sure this is the first time something like this has ever happened between the two of you."

"It is!" I said. "Matt and I talk about everything."

"Do you really?"

I thought for a while. I realised Nathan was right.

"Okay, no, we don't talk about everything," I said.

"Then who are you to accuse him of not 'communicating?'"

I bit my lips.

"How about talking to him about how you feel, rather than how he feels?" Nathan suggested. "It might-"

"I don't think that works," I said. "And wouldn't that make me a bit...selfish? "

"You didn't let me finish," he frowned, then he laughed, "and since when do you care about being selfish."