carina and maya -

18

Carina made her way to the hospital while Maya distracted herself with watching tv.
Distracting from the void the disappearance of carina caused in her body.
It was weird cause Maya was certainly not someone who was clingy nor that fast became attached to someone. Sure she was happy for the alone time she had, to think about everything, fully being herself. Nevertheless whenever carina needed to go she felt like something was missing.

(carinas pov)

I love my work. But I would rather spend the evening with Maya. Knowing I most likely won't see her until 10pm kinda demotivated me to enter the hospital hallways, but I did. Thinking about all the babies that would be born with my help made me smile again. I really lived for this miracle.

I just hope it will be a quiet work day and that all the moms im taking care of stay away from active labor or any complications during birth...

"Sis" I heard someone yelling from across the hallway
oh noo...

"Andrea what do you want again"
"I'm sorry I snapped at you..."

"yeah you better not talk about my girlfriend like that ever again."

"girlfriend carina are you for real? she is just gonna break your heart again"

"she isn't just someone for a fun night" I sighed... I hated when people talk bad about the people I love.

"since mom left dad and died you're trying to replace him Andrew. But you aren't. You need to understand that and live your life and let me live mine. I know what's good for me and what's not. I don't need you to decide that"

"I warned you, if she breaks your heart it's your fault. and she seems like she will at some point."

"ANDREA!"

I felt the nurses looking at us so I just turned around, letting him stand in the hallway. I didn't felt like continuing this conversation anyway.

(mayas pov)

l took my phone, just turning it on and looking at my lockscreen for what felt like 5 minutes straight. It was 5pm so Carina has only been away for an hour.
what am I supposed to in the meantime?

I had the urge to pack some stuff of mine since I didn't plan to go to my apartment anytime soon.
So I drove to my apartment, the spare key carina gave me in my pocket.

I felt my anxiety bubbling up and I hated it so I hurried and grabbed one of my gymbags packing every piece of clothes I found and stuffed it in there.
some shampoo and a towel and that's it I thought.
I quickly went to the kitchen to grab my protein shake powder and then went to my car.
I took a deep breath, being relived I could stay a little longer at carinas than just for a sleepover kind of thing.
is that moving in? kinda? should I have talked with her before?
I'm not a good girlfriend, I thought.

sitting in the car I had an idea and went to the supermarket.

carina pulled her mask off of her face, feeling her body heaten up...
everything was fine, but then the baby just didn't started to breath.

(carinas pov)

I ran out of the or, i told one of the interns to talk to the parents, I knew I should be doing this... but I can't right now.
this was my first loss at Grey Sloan.
in Italy all the mom's and babies were way healthier.
Finally I made it to my office. I let myself fall into my chair my head buried in my arms.
I know I should go home but I just needed a minute or two for myself.

(mayas pov)

I went through the imaginary shopping list in my head: white wine, chocolate, and the things I needed for tacos. I thought about pasta, but considering my cooking skills are a three out of ten, this is carinas part.
candles, I need candles too.
I payed and drove back, home.

carina slowly calmed down, but it was visible something wasn't okay right now..

(carinas pov)
I sat there, and it all came back every few minutes, everyone trying to save this little baby, who was just about to experience everything in this world. the sobbing from the mom and...
I know things like this happen, but they didn't happened very often to me. everyone always says "you'll get used to it" but do I want to?

i felt my phone vibrating, I  checked messages and even if I felt horrible, my lips automatically formed a soft smile.

Maya <3
can't wait for you to come home :)

I wiped the remaining tears away and tried not to think about it any further.

(Mayas pov)

Carina hasn't replied to my message yet but I'm sure she's on her way.

I poured some wine in our glasses and lit up the candles in between our seats.
the food was almost ready and I smiled, being happy my time management did went well.

I sat on the couch waiting for carina. I was nervous. I didn't know why, it's not like I will propose to her.
I just want to ask her if it's okay if I stay here for a while. and I want to thank her for everything she has done for me.
normally I'm not that romantic, sex yes feelings rather not. but with carina everything was different.
I played with my hair so I decided to quickly put it into a low ponytail, pulling two loose strands of hair out.

I wore a black dress, knee length, and some earrings.
I wonder what she will think about that outfit since she only saw me in my comfy, sporty clothes so far.
I hope it will be a good evening for both of us.

an/ any thoughts or feedback, wishes on what to happen next? let me know :)