Reasons of the heart (Peter Parker fanfiction)

Chapter 4

Once she was done with the suit, Sara turned it off and stood up from the bed to put it back where she took it. Julie nodded at her and the black haired girl left the room to go to Peter and Ned's bedroom. She put the suit back exactly where she found it. She didn't bother to fold it because Peter wouldn't do it anyway, before going back to her room. When she entered the room, Julie was still on the bed, on her phone. Sara didn't say a word and just went to put on her leather jacket.

"Where are you going? You're not gonna spy on Peter during his date are you?" Julie asked sitting up right, raising an eyebrow at Sara

"I'm just gonna take some air." Lies. She tried her best to convince Julie but in the end it wouldn't work, Julie knows everything

"I can't believe you." Julie stated as Sara was putting on her pair of white converse. "First you break up with him for invalid reasons, not leaving him the choice, not even discussing it with him before taking the decision, but then you just find a way to stick your nose in his school trip so you can keep an eye on him but instead of trying to sort things out and considering starting over you just push him into someone else's arms because you overheard that he likes her, which he probably does because he's trying to move on because that's what you told him, and now you want to spy on him during his date? For what exactly? To be sure he's moving on? Or to see if he still feels something for you? Well I have the answer to that, yes he does!" This time Julie raised her voice at her friend.

" Stop it Juls" Sara pleaded Julie, but she was on a roll right now, and she was tired of Sara being so contradictory and not being able to see what was actually the right thing to do.

"No I'm not gonna stop Sara. You need to see this, you need to open your eyes and realize that what you're doing is completely stupid. It's not because you think it's right that it is. Did you ever wonder if it was your decision, did you ever ask yourself if your decision was actually protecting him, if your decision wasn't actually hurting him and causing him pain more than anything else, huh? Did you even realize what you did? The boy was in love with you, and so were you, how could you think that breaking up would protect him and give him better options, a better life when the poor boy had only eyes for you and he could only imagine his life with you. You had your dreamed boyfriend served on a plate, he was so head over heels for you that he would have done anything for you and you just threw him away like a piece of shit? Maybe you're right, maybe he deserves better than you." Julie realized what she just said once the words were out. She realized that it was probably a little too harsh when she saw the tears welling up in her friend's eyes. But it was too late, the words were out and sometimes it needs to be that way to make her realize what's really happening

"Don't you think I know I caused him pain? This situation hurts me too..." Sara started, choking on her own words as she tried her best not to cry and show her emotions to her best friend. Julie didn't let her finish though

"Then do something about it." Sara closed her eyes, tears rolling down her cheek. She didn't want to continue this conversation knowing she'd end up crying, so she turned around heading for the opened window. She just wanted one thing, escaped this situation, and not just the conversation with Julie, but everything, the situation with Peter, with Stark industries, with the suit and the avengers. Without her dad around she just felt like everything was crumbling down around her and that there was no way to get back up from that. She just wanted to forget about all her problems, hoping they'd resolve themselves on their own, she just wanted to sit on a couch with Pepper and Morgan while they'd eat ice cream, crying over all the good times they shared with Tony. She started to climb out the window when Julie shouted "You can't run away from your problems for the rest of your life. That's not what your dad expected from you, he wanted you to be the strong responsible woman that you're meant to be because he knew that you'd do great things in your life. He expected you to face your problems and solve them the way he did." Sara stopped in her tracks as she only had one leg out the window. She didn't look at Julie though. Sara knew that she'd have to hear the "that's not what your dad wanted" excuses a lot, knowing people would use it to make sure Sara would make the right decision. But sometimes people tend to forget that even though they were really close, they were still two different people and even if Tony did expect some things from Sara he'd never asked her to be exactly like him, he'd wanted her to make what's right, for the others but also for her. Indeed he raised her in a certain way and gave her some values, but here are still things that, even if he was still here, they wouldn't agree on and Sara would do it her own way, and he'd respect that except if what she wanted to do was really stupid or dangerous or even both. Tony made mistakes in his life and he never expected Sara to be so perfect that she'd never make the same mistakes, she's human and it's normal for her to make mistakes but he knew she'll end up realizing what she's done and fix it. But right now she just needed some time, some time to grief, some time to accept the break up, and some time to realize that she was now on her own. She took a deep breath, and without looking back at Julie, put her other leg out the window and started to climb up the hotel facade, going for the roof. She preferred going by the roof, she wouldn't have to bear with the looks people would've given her in the streets, plus it'd be easier for her to keep an eye on Peter. Sara had overheard that Peter would take MJ out around the rialto bridge so that's where she went, and after looking around from a rooftop she spotted them coming out of a theater and walking towards a smaller bridge in a nearby alley. She saw MJ sitting on the small wall of the bridge as they started to talk and watched the gondolas on the canal. Sara did the same on the rooftop watching them, she was close enough to hear what they were saying and even though she knew that it was creepy she wanted to make sure MJ could make Peter happy. She didn't really listen to what they were saying though she quickly got lost in her thoughts. She let her mind wander around the idea of "what if she didn't break up with him and Julie and everyone else was actually right". Maybe she had indeed made a mistake but it was too late for her to fix it, now that she pushed him in MJ arms so he could move on. At least that's what she thought. But after sitting here for what seemed like fifteen minutes, her train of thoughts were interrupted when she felt someone sitting beside her. She didn't need to turn her head to know who it was. After all, except for Julie who would've followed her on the roofs of Venice?

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have said what I said, it's just I can't understand what's going on inside your head and I'm tired of trying to make you realize the mistake you made. If you want to be miserable then so be it,but you'll be the only one to blame. I'm just tired of us always having this conversation." Julie said. She had calmed down since their fight in the room

" I know, I know." Sara said, still looking at the bridge. MJ had climbed off the wall and now they were facing each other. Peter looked flustered, he was playing with his fingers which means he had something to tell MJ, something Sara knew but she didn't want to hear him say knowing it would mean everything is true and actually happening and Julie was right, she could only blame herself. Sara tried to concentrate on what Peter was going to say

"MJ, I..." He started to say, shy like always, and at the same time MJ cut him off but Sara couldn't hear what she told her as she felt Julie slap her behind her head.

"Ouch!" Sara didn't scream but her voice was loud enough for Peter to hear. Of course he noticed the two girls on the roof but Sara didn't see that "What was that for?"

"Oh that was totally free." She smirked before answering seriously "First it was because you deserved it after all and maybe it'll put your mind back in place and second it was to try to fix your mistake and slow their relationship."

"How would that slow their relationship ?"

"Because he heard you shout so now he knows we're here. MJ and him are talking but he's looking over here." Julie pointed to the bridge and Sara saw that she was right. Peter was looking at them but after MJ spoke he looked back at her. Sara tried to listen to what they were saying

"What? No, of course not."

"I mean it's kind of obvious." MJ told him as Peter's eyes darted back towards the two girls. When his eyes met Sara, the black haired girl stood up.

"Okat time to go." Sara looked at Julie who didn't move. She turned around ready to climb off the roof

"Where are you going now?"

"I don't know probably back to the hotel, just don't want to face him right now."

"And explain to him why you were spying on him during his date?" Sara couldn't see it but she knew her friend was smirking at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Exactly." And then Sara started climbing off the roof by the facade of the house and started to walk towards the rialto bridge. What she didn't know though, was that Peter saw it and he excused himself to go and follow her. Julie smirked at the scene and quickly stood up to see the outcome of this. This time she was the one spying, she didn't mean to be discreet though.

Sara had reached half of the bridge when she heard a voice behind her.

"Hey can you tell me what you're doing here?" Sara stopped dead in her tracks when she heard his voice.

"Shit" she muttered. She slowly turned around and looked at him and said, "I'm just visiting the city." She lied

"I'm serious Sara, you don't want me in your life anymore and you made that clear, you pushed me to move on and encouraged me to go on a date with MJ and tell her i like her, and now you dare spying on me during a date that was going pretty well but i just ruined it because of you, why? Sara I need to know, what do you want me to do ? Either you want me out of your life and i'll move on as much as i can because it'll be hard to get over you, or you still want me and we start where we left things off but i won't be waiting for you to just break my heart again, i need you to be clear with what you want, i don't want to keep my hopes up forever." At the same time Julie appeared from behind Peter. Of course she heard what Peter had just said, and she crossed her arms raising an eyebrow at Sara. Sara rolled her eyes at her friend while Peter was still waiting for her answer. Sara didn't know what to say however. Now that she had to face the problem she didn't know anymore. Well she knew she wanted him, she needed him but after what she had done to him she was really wondering if she was good for him and how he could still want her. Her mouth opened and closed a few times trying to find an answer but none came out. Sara looked at Peter and saw that tears had appeared in his eyes.

"I don't know Peter, I'm really sorry." And without another word, she walked away to go back to the hotel, leaving Julie trying to comfort Peter.

"You can't spend your life running away from your problems Sara." Peter shouted after her but she didn't turn around.